The Pause that Changed Everything

A woman sits on a beach looking at the ocean.

When I launched my podcast, The Intentional Pause, I kept asking myself one question: What should my very first episode be about? The answer became obvious. I needed to tell my own story. Because everything I teach about slowing down, intentional pauses, and transformation comes from one defining moment in my own life—a moment I never would have chosen, but one that ultimately changed everything.

Sometimes Life Chooses the Pause for You

Most of us don’t slow down because we want to. We slow down because life forces us to. Maybe it’s a health crisis. A job loss. The end of a relationship. A major disappointment. Whatever form it takes, these moments interrupt our lives and demand our attention. I call them Leap Points. They’re the moments when life asks us to stop long enough to become someone new.

My Wake-Up Call

In 2003, I was 33 years old with two young daughters. I worked full-time, was earning my master’s degree at night, managed a household, and tried to do it all. Like many people—especially women—I believed I had to be everything to everyone. I struggled with perfectionism. I had a hard time saying no because I thought it made me selfish or weak. I cared too much about what other people thought. And if I’m completely honest, I also wanted to control everything. Looking back now, I realize that need for control came from fear. I was living under constant stress, but I ignored all the warning signs. Until my body stopped me. After months of severe digestive problems that I convinced myself I didn’t have time to deal with, I ended up in the hospital. The diagnosis? Chronic ulcerative colitis.

The doctor explained that my colon was severely damaged. I was placed on medication that I was told I’d likely need for the rest of my life. If it didn’t work, surgery to remove my colon would be the next step. At 33 years old, I remember thinking one thing: There has to be another way.

Choosing an Intentional Pause

I took five months off work on short-term disability. Instead of trying to push through, I made a decision that felt radical at the time: I shut my life down. I did only what was absolutely necessary. I cared for my children, but beyond that, my full-time job became healing. I researched everything I could about my condition. I changed my diet.

I practiced yoga. I learned about stress and the mind-body connection. But the biggest work wasn’t physical. It was emotional. I realized I had spent years pushing down feelings instead of dealing with them. My thoughts and habits were running on autopilot, and many of them were working against me. Healing required more than changing what I ate. It required changing how I thought.

The Hardest Work Happens Inside

During one doctor’s appointment, I asked question after question about my treatment. Finally, the doctor looked at me and said, “Chris, you’re not going to be able to control this.” At first, I was angry. Control had always been my coping mechanism. But eventually I realized something important: The goal wasn’t controlling everything around me. It was learning to respond differently to what life placed in front of me. That realization became the beginning of real transformation.

Putting Myself Back Into the Equation

One phrase I often use with coaching clients is this: Put yourself back into the equation. So many of us make decisions based on everyone else’s needs.

We ask:

What does my family need?
What does my boss need?
What do my friends expect?

Rarely do we ask: What do I need? For years, I had left myself out of every equation. My pause changed that. For the first time, I gave myself permission to become a priority—not because it was selfish, but because it was necessary.

What Healing Really Looked Like

Over those five months, I worked closely with healthcare professionals while making significant lifestyle changes. I changed doctors, adjusted my treatment plan under medical supervision, improved my nutrition, developed healthier daily routines, and began therapy.

Little by little, I got stronger. Eventually, my symptoms resolved. When I returned to work, something surprising happened. The moment I pulled into the parking lot, my stomach tightened. Within two weeks, I resigned. I knew I couldn’t return to the life that had made me sick. Instead, I started my own coaching business. More than two decades later, I’m still doing the work I was called to do.

The Lessons My Pause Taught Me

Looking back, my illness wasn’t the end of my story. It was the beginning of a completely different one. Here are just a few of the lessons it taught me:

Your health is your foundation. When your health disappears, everything else comes to a stop.
Stress has consequences. Chronic stress doesn’t only affect your mood—it impacts your body, your relationships, your decisions, and your quality of life.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s one of the most generous things you can do for the people who depend on you.
Slowing down creates clarity. When we stop constantly distracting ourselves, we finally hear what we’ve been trying to avoid. That’s uncomfortable. But it’s also where transformation begins.
You Don’t Have to Wait for a Crisis. The biggest lesson I hope you take from my story is this: You don’t have to wait until life forces you to pause. You can choose it. It doesn’t require taking five months off work.

It might simply mean:

Sitting outside with your morning coffee without your phone.
Taking a real lunch break.
Reading for ten minutes before bed.
Going for a walk without listening to a podcast.
Giving yourself space to simply be.

Small pauses create powerful changes over time.

Your Pause With Purpose – This week’s reflection is simple:

Where in your life could you slow down—even just a little?

Start with ten intentional minutes.
Notice what thoughts come up.
Notice what feelings surface.
Pay attention to what you’ve been too busy to hear. Because often, the answers we’re searching for don’t appear when we’re rushing. They appear when we finally become still.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Anne Lamott: “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.“

Maybe that’s exactly what you need today. A few quiet minutes. An intentional pause. Because sometimes the smallest pause becomes the biggest turning point.

Give yourself permission to pause!