When Fear Is Running the Show

In episode 9 of The Intentional Pause podcast, I explore how fear shapes daily choices, how it can disguise itself, and how taking small, deliberate actions can help reclaim agency in both everyday life and professional settings.

Consider what you would do differently, what boundaries you would set, or what you would stop tolerating if fear disappeared overnight. To overcome overthinking and indecision, ask yourself: “Will I be thinking about this on my deathbed?” If the answer is no, let it go; if yes, devote energy to taking action. Fear is often defined as “False Evidence Appearing Real”.

How Fear Shows up:

Procrastination and perfectionism.
Overthinking, endlessly seeking opinions, or needing 100% certainty before acting.
People-pleasing and saying yes out of fear of rejection or looking incompetent.
Staying busy to avoid facing uncomfortable truths.
Staying in unfulfilling jobs or relationships out of fear of the unknown.

The Neurobiology of Fear

The amygdala acts as the brain’s alarm system. Under intense emotion, an “amygdala hijack” can cause feelings to override reason and logic. Recognizing when an emotion is lying or mistaking excitement / growth for threat allows you to pause and ground yourself. Discomfort often signals personal or professional growth (e.g., starting a new job). Sitting with the emotion briefly allows it to dissipate rather than fester.

Practical Strategies

Focus on What You Can Control: Over 80% of energy is often wasted on “out of bounds” factors like the economy or other people’s perceptions. Focus strictly on your tone, attitude, responses, and choices. Avoid analysis paralysis by adopting the principle (noted by Jeff Bezos) that having 70% of the required information is sufficient to make a decision.

Assess the Cost of Inaction: Ask what letting fear drive is costing you, whether it’s happiness, career progress, or relationships, and project where you will be in 1–5 years if nothing changes.

Pause with Purpose – Action Step: Identify one small step you can take today if fear weren’t in charge, such as sending an email, speaking up in a meeting, setting a boundary, or applying for a new position. Action cures fear; small steps build momentum.