There is a time to do what you want to do and a time to do what you were meant to do.
Those of you who know me well know that I possess the gift of insight. I can see, hear, intuit and feel things about people, places and situations. I personally believe we all have these gifts and the more we use them, the more we trust them and when we trust them, they simply show up more.
Every morning I have a routine of meditating and spending at least 30 minutes of quiet time reflecting on my day ahead. It is my way of “screwing my head on straight” before I embark on my day. This morning I was hit with an intense sense of needing to share with all of you the insight I received for the rest of the week. I received four different messages so I will relay them to you in four parts. As you read, please remember to interpret the messages as they pertain to you and your situation. Only you know what is best for you, no one else.
Coming to a Close
Something of extreme significance is coming to a close. Whether it is a project you have been working on, a relationship you have been in for awhile or a decision you have been battling with to make, something is ending. With every ending is a new beginning and you should feel wonderful about what you have accomplished thus far. Because of all of the hard work you have put in and how far you have come, rewards and recognition are imminent and a golden opportunity awaits you as you begin your new journey.
What is Real?
You are witnessing a tremendous amount of change happening in your life and these changes are happening very, very rapidly. Something is making you feel as if you are trapped and a very strong message comes through in letting you know that the entrapment feelings are not based in reality, it is an illusion. There is a truth that needs to be faced in order to release the illusion and see the truth and it has to do with YOU. Take off the “mask” you are wearing due to fear and take responsibility for what you need to take responsibility for. Fess up! The energies will bring it up on their own if you do not and it is always more painful when it has to happen not by our own choice. The focuses you have currently around material things (such as money) are only to fill a deep craving you have for inner peace and to fill an emotional void.
You are Ready!
Whatever it is that is changing around you or coming to a close is frightening to you because you feel you are not ready for what is to come next, but you are! You are moving onto something new (a new house, a new relationship, a new job, realizing a dream, etc.) and have grown spiritually throughout the process which will serve you going forward. Feelings of gratitude, optimism and joy are of paramount importance right now in order for you to welcome the clarity that will be entering regarding why this is all occurring as it is. Allow yourself to sit in gratitude for all that has occurred and what you have learned and allow the peace and contentment swirling around you to come in (and know you are worthy of feeling that way!).
Make a Decision
You are going to need to make a pretty big decision regarding something of extreme importance to you and please be aware of “hidden agendas.” In order to see the decision clearly, you will need to make sure you “clean house.” Remove anybody or anything from your life that you feel does not serve your highest good, release all judgments about people and why things happen as they do and use humor to lighten up the situation (it is always a good practice to not take yourself too seriously). You may notice things “stall” around you temporarily to give you time to make this decision. Slow down, listen to your heart and choose wisely.
Before you head down there to your new life on Earth, I wanted to give you a heads up about a few things that will take place in the life you are about to be born into. There are two versions, and whichever one you choose to give your attention to will be the one that is real for you.
Illusion:
You are born into a lower income family as the middle child and grow up in Cleveland, Ohio. Your childhood is fairly uneventful, given you witnessed and experienced some not so wonderful things growing up which severely affect your self-esteem as an adult.
You will be bullied all through elementary school and middle school due to being smart and the “teacher’s pet” but end up “finding your own” in high school by burying yourself in your books and doing extremely well in school. You go off to college, majoring in pre-medicine, only to end up pregnant in your senior year, unable to attend medical school. You do finish your degree, graduate and get married the week after you graduate being 6 months pregnant. You move to Columbus, Ohio with your new husband and proceed to have 2 daughters by the time you are 23 years old. You enjoy being a stay-at-home Mom for a few years but somehow lose yourself in the middle of caring for everyone else and end up deathly ill by the age of 32. You recover, start your own business and feel as if you are finally on your path, only to discover you are unhappy in your marriage and proceed to get divorced at age 38.
After your divorce, you date several men and come to find that your “radar” is broken and you seem to only attract angry, abusive men who lie, cheat and use you for either sex or money. You then decide at age 42 to remain single for the rest of your life because it is not worth the pain of being used and hurt again.
You feel as if the only area of your life you are successful in is your business but seem to always be struggling with money due to the fact that you feel the need to “loan” everyone who is in need your money, time or sanity, leaving you with nothing left for yourself. Your daughters grow up to be beautiful smart girls but very opposite. Both end up doing great in school, with one going off to college and the other having to overcome a low self-esteem and addiction issue and becoming pregnant at a young age, leaving you feeling like you failed as a Mom somewhere down the road.
Due to an urge to move out west that will not seem to go away, you throw in the towel in 2012 and risk everything to move your life to Arizona. You feel elated by this move only to return to your old home in Baltimore for a visit to continued chaos, friends who have changed and moved on and a heavy feeling of not belonging anywhere anymore.
Reality
Every event in the “Illusion” version of your life still occurs, except your perception is different. You choose to believe that all of the events that happened to you in childhood and in your life happened for a reason. You use those events that may have crippled someone else’s self-esteem, into events that build your own. You see that both of your parents did the best that they could based on their situation and what happened to them in their own lives.
Although the events that occur from the ages of 8-38 are extremely difficult and trying, you pull up your boot straps and like a champ get through each one with your head held high, believing that as long as you keep moving forward and focusing on the good in life you will persevere in the end. And even though you never end up going to medical school, you use every work and school experience you had to build an internationally successful speaking business which not only helps millions of people transform their own lives, but creates boundless abundance for yourself and family.
Your daughters end up wildly successful, following in your footsteps in using their God-given gifts and life experiences to help others persevere through challenging times in their lives. And even though you may still feel as if your “radar” is broken with men, you continue through life confidently believing that your “knight in shining armor” is out there and one day will ride in on his white horse and be more than you ever dreamed.
You continue to live the rest of your life traveling the world with your base being in Arizona and one day realize that every event that happens in your life in the present is created by the thoughts that you allowed to race through your mind in the past. You live the rest of your life choosing to question your thoughts, think of the things and events that make you feel good about yourself, protect your energy by being careful with whom and where you take yourself and you know deep down in your soul that when you get to the end of this movie called “Chris Sopa” that you will have no regrets and have lived the life you were born to live.
“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change toward him. This is the Divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” ~Gandhi
“Karma is the eternal assertion of human freedom. Our thoughts, our words, and deeds are the threads of the net which we throw around ourselves.” ~Swami Vivekananda
Saturday I turned 42 years old. In 42 years I have had a lot of different experiences. I grew up in Cleveland in your typical dysfunctional family (I mean that very lovingly for family members who are reading this!), went to college like I was “supposed to,” got married at 20, had both of my daughters by the time I was 23, experienced being a stay at home Mom for a few years, moved to Baltimore, went back to work, ended up with a chronic illness at 32 and almost died, started my own business at 33, got divorced at 38, and just recently moved again to Arizona. Of course, there are many things I have left out but overall my life has been amazing!
As we look back on our lives, remembering the happy times is easy but when the memories of painful times arise, times where maybe we were not “our best,” it is not easy to look in the mirror. Did you ever wonder why certain things in your life happened? I mean, really wondered? Not wondered from a victim place of “why is this happening to me?” but from a place of “what the heck is going on here?”
As I write this, I am sitting in the kitchen of my old house which is now my ex-husband’s house. No, that is not weird. It is possible to get divorced and still get along with your ex. Last night after flying all day, my daughter picked me up at the airport late; I got back to this house and plopped into the bed in the spare room. As I laid there trying to fall asleep I remembered the last time I had slept in that bed. It was my last night in this house before I left my husband. It made me stop and think about karma and choices I have made in my life up until this point.
I define karma as action and consequence. I don’t believe karma is a tablet with all of our deeds kept in the hands of the Gods for them to decide how we should be punished for what we did wrong. I believe karma is just the word to describe the consequences for the actions we choose. We all have heard the expression, “what you sow is what you reap.” Karma, in essence, is simply the Universe’s way of making you responsible and accountable for the choices you have made thus far.
Here is the rub; some of the choices we make are unconscious. Over 90% of our behaviors come from our subconscious minds and in that part of the mind sits all of our past conditioning which we received from parents, teachers, experiences and even past lives (if you believe in that). The question becomes, if we want to make the best and highest choices going forward so we no longer accumulate “KARMA,” what can we do?
K = Keep heart centered Many of us make our choices only after we have run the scenario through our minds countless times, done a pie chart and asked 80,000 different people their opinions. Learn to make your choices using your heart, not your head. When you have to make a choice, listen to your body and your feelings. How does the choice feel? Where does the feeling show up in your body? Does the choice feel comfortable or does it make you uncomfortable?
A = Always learn from your past experiences Unfortunately, there is such a thing as “karmic debt.” With every action, there is a reaction and yes, you do have to balance (not “pay for”) any misdeeds you have done. Going forward, when something unfortunate happens or you make a poor choice ask yourself, “What can I learn from this experience?” “What is the message the Universe is trying to tell me?” and “How can I use this experience to help others?”
R = Remember to be present Being present means being aware of what is going on at this moment. Be an observer of your life and witness what is going on around you. Be here, now. Your future is created in the present moment and the choices you are making right now. Be present so you can make the best choices possible.
M = Make peace with yourself and others Every choice you make not only affects you but it affects those around you and sometimes in ways in which you may not even be aware. No debt in the Universe ever goes unpaid – that is just law. If you have done harm to someone in the past you don’t necessarily have to hunt them down and beg for forgiveness. Do your own work. Bring that person up in your mind, send them light and love, apologize and let them go. Use that experience as a lesson to make higher choices in the future.
A = Ask yourself questions constantly Every time you are about to make a choice ask yourself, “What are the consequences of this choice I am making and will it benefit me and others involved?” Answer from your heart. Always, always question your thoughts. When you find yourself judging yourself or someone else ask yourself, “Is that true?” “Can I be certain it is true?” “Who would I be if that thought didn’t exist?” Always do your best in choosing the higher road.
A year older,
Chris
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Feature image licensed with Pixabay.
Is your food zapping your energy?
Please enjoy today’s article from Elaina Love, author of three recipe books and founder of Pure Joy Planet and Pure Joy Academy as the guest columnist every Friday in the Journey Back to Self Blog. ~ Chris
What you eat and when you eat has a big influence on your energy levels throughout the day. Morning is when it can either start with a bang or a thud, but it doesn’t just end there. The choices you make throughout the day can have a huge influence on your physical, emotional and mental wellness in life.
If you begin your day with a heavy meal, such as pancakes or even milk and cereal, you may find yourself wanting to go straight back to bed. The other side effect you might get is a mild depression such as a feeling of doom or dread about your day. The reason this happens is that your body is working so hard to digest the food you just ate, that you have no energy left for normal functioning, and even your hormones get imbalanced by the sugar. And when it gets to be too much, your body just puts you to sleep so it can deal with the bombardment.
Another reason you may experience low energy after eating something is when our food choices create an insulin spike. When we eat foods such as white sugar, agave nectar, milk, white bread, pastries, or anything that creates an insulin overload for our pancreas (I had it happen from just eating cantaloupe recently), our hormones kick in to action to balance things in the body. Once your insulin level spikes too high from eating a sugary food, a roller coaster effect begins. As the body secretes hormones, our moods and energy levels move all over the place. This can also be the case if we go without food in the case of hypoglycemic, but usually that is still a case of imbalance. Isn’t food supposed to give us energy and help us function in life? The answer is Yes! We just need to make smart choices, cleanse our bodies of all the excess waste, and feed it the right food to help us stay feeling good.
Here is an example of some items you can exchange to make your energy soar instead of sink. Below are 2 lists. One is foods that make us sleepy, groggy or low energy, as well as moody and even depressed.The second is an alternative that will make you feel energized and good. Some people may at first experience withdrawal or even detox symptoms from some of your unhealthy habits being replaced, but very soon, maybe within a day, you will feel supercharged!
Unsweetened almond milk (home-made is better than boxed) with 1 TBS. chia seeds soaked in ½ cup water topped with fresh berries
Almond bread with tomato slices, sprinkled with fresh chopped basil and a sprinkle of salt
Green juice made with cucumber, celery, kale, lemon and possibly fresh pressed apple for taste. (I know this one is really far-fetched as usually if you feel like pancakes the last thing you are going to want is a green juice, but you will be surprised by how amazing you feel. Make your juice the night before, then drink it first thing in the morning, then if you still want pancakes, go for it, but instead of high fructose corn syrup which is usually what they put in those fake maple syrups, just top it with some fresh berries and honey.) Also, fruit juice is not an option since it is loaded with insulin spiking “sugar”. The best choice by far is leafy green juices! The other thing you can do is to mix 1 TBS of green powder in water and drink it down first before eating anything else.
Romaine leaf instead of bread with whatever filling you choose. Keep in mind that it is usually the sugar in the bread that makes you low energy. My favorite filling in a Romaine leaf is some mustard, avocado slices and chopped tomatoes sprinkled with Himalayan salt and some sprouts.
Sweet Nothings fudgesicle (only 100 calories per bar) or a bowl of frozen raspberries or blueberries covered in almond milk and sweetened with stevia (it’s like a berry ice cream).
This will give you something to get started with, and as time goes on, keep trying new recipes that are organic and healthy. You never know how great you can feel until you start putting nutrients in and getting the toxins out.
Bringing pure joy and gourmet bliss to the planet,
Elaina Love
Elaina Love is a plant-based chef, instructor, author and speaker.
“The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success,” by Deepak Chopra
“Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment, intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality have infinite organizing power. And when we introduce an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, we put this infinite organizing power to work for us.” ~Deepak Chopra
With two full moons in August, this is a month of pure abundance. Many of us have things we seek that we want in our lives. Why do some people seem to have more abundance than others? What is the secret? According to my friend Melanie Dunlap of the Peaceful Spirit Enrichment Center in New River, AZ, everyone has abundance because abundance breaks down to “a bun dance!” We all have “buns” we can shake and do a dance!! This may sound silly but it is more profound than you realize. Part of being able to manifest what you want in your life is to feel as if it is already here, that it is already real and in your life. Do “a bun dance” in celebration of your desire already being in your life and it will come to pass before you know it!
Deepak Chopra has a wonderful book titled “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.” I want to share with you his wisdom on how to apply the Law of Intention and Desire this month. Remember, where you focus your attention is what the Universe assumes you want. Your attention should always be on the present moment, which is the only thing that is real. Accept what is and release the resistance to the present and what you see. The past and future are simply imagination and “your story.” Intention is desire without attachment to the outcome. Your intention is your desire; it is what you want and lives in the present.
“Your intent is for the future, but your attention is in the present.”
Applying the Law of Intention and Desire
Make a list of your desires and carry them with you throughout the day. Look at your list often, especially before you go into prayer or meditation (silence), before you go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning.
Release the attachment you have to your desires (how you want them to manifest, when, etc.) and trust that when they don’t arrive how you want them to or in your time frame, that there is a reason. Remember, God has the good seats. He can see what you cannot. You see one puzzle piece. He sees them all and how they fit together. Trust and allow Him to do his work.
Every chance you get, remind yourself to be present. Be aware of your body, the smells around you, the people you interact with and the beauty of our Earth. Ignore obstacles and keep your attention focused on the now. Accept what you see as what is without being frustrated or needing to know why it is the way it is. Just be.
When all else fails, breathe and remember you are more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Your heart is the center of your awareness and is the control center that connects you to the Universe. Empower your heart by surrounding yourself with the scents such as mint, sage or rose; wear green or pink; listen to soft classical or sacred music; carry a rose quartz crystal with you all day in your pocket and sleep with it under your pillow; and remember love is divine power, we are motivated by it, inspired by it and healed by it. Let go and let God and watch your amazing life unfold in ways you could never have imagined.
“Carry the consciousness of your spirit wherever you go, gently release your desires, and the Universe will handle the details for you.” ~Deepak Chopra
“Never be afraid to ask a question, especially of yourself. Discovery is the mission of life.“ ~Brian Kates
I would like you to take a few minutes to answer the following questions. Sit down somewhere comfortable, take a deep breath and write down the first answers that come to your mind. Try not to over analyze.
In order to find yourself, are you willing to lose yourself?
If you think life is hard right now, what are you comparing it to?
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
How would you introduce yourself to God?
Do you let yesterday use up too much of today?
What is the one thing you think about that always makes you smile?
Who are “they” that hold so much power over you?
If you had 5 minutes to live, who would you call and why are you waiting?
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
What would you pack to pursue a dream and what would you leave behind?
I have always lived my life by the philosophy of having nothing on my “Unwilling To Do” list. That may sound crazy and yes, I have been accused of insanity more than once in my life, but think about that statement for a moment. When you think about your life, your dreams and your aspirations, better yet, when you think about how you pray, what do you think and say? Do you say, “God, I need more money but please don’t take away the job I have now.” Or “God, please help my daughter make the best choices for her life but protect her from pain.” Most of us pray and dream with exceptions. “I want this, but please don’t take away that” is the flavor of most of our prayers. We are afraid of the unknown and afraid of the answer to the question, “what if?”
Byron Katie, an amazing author and speaker, has a process called “The Work.” In “The Work” you are taught to question your thoughts. She has a line she says over and over again that I just love, “If you want pain and suffering, get a future!” The idea of “The Work” is to question the stories you tell yourself (your thoughts) with a series of 4 questions and then turn it around. The questions are as follows:
Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to #3)
Can you absolutely know that is true? (yes or no)
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
For example, if you have a thought of “Steve should not lie to me,” you ask yourself the 4 questions. Don’t worry about the answer. There is no right or wrong answer here. You are allowed to say yes. So let’s say you say yes to #1. Then ask yourself #2. Can you really know if Steve lied? Can you absolutely know what is in Steve’s best interest? Maybe it is part of his life lesson to act the way he does. Now, #3, how do you feel when you allow yourself to believe Steve lies? Angry, stressed, frustrated. How do you treat Steve when he lies? Do you try to change him? #4, Picture yourself standing in front of Steve, close your eyes and look at Steve without that thought. What do you see? What would your life look like if you eliminated that thought? Now, turn the statement around. “Steve should not lie to me” turns into “I should not lie to myself.”
(You can get more detail and an actual worksheet to do “The Work” by clicking here.)
What this does is cause you to question your thinking. 80% of what you think is a lie. Pay attention to your feelings today. If you start feeling any one of a number of bad feelings, stop and see what you were just thinking about. Question it. Is it true? What if it wasn’t true? Choose to feel good. Choose your thoughts every day so they are ones that fit how you want to feel. Stay present. The only time you feel any pain or bad feelings is when you allow your mind to wander into the past or into the future. You are always perfect and exactly where you need to be in the present. There are no mistakes. Everything, even if you may label it as “bad,” is meant to be and is for your highest good. The answers will come. I promise!
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves.” ~Richard Carlson, PhD
Maybe I should start this blog over from scratch? Where is scratch? 😉
Chris
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Instagram, LinkedIn. Feature image licensed from Unsplash.
25 Things You Can Do To Alleviate Stress
I am about to make a bold statement, stress is the main and only cause of all illnesses! Everything we experience in our physical world is simply a projection of what we are allowing to run through our minds. Our thoughts create our reality. If your thoughts are “sick,” you will be sick.
We all know people who are wonderful individuals who are very positive and have great lives but still get ill. How can this be? Our conscious mind may be positive, but our subconscious mind runs 90% of our behaviors. We are not always aware what sits in that deep recess of the mind. One of the ways God gets our attention, if all else fails, is through our physical body. A physical ailment will stop you in your tracks every time and cause you to question your life, your thinking and your actions.
If you do nothing else for yourself in this lifetime, do this: learn how to manage stress in your life. Contrary to what you may now believe, stress is not caused by your ex, your boss, lack of money, lack of sex, having no job, etc. Stress is caused by your perception of those events in your life. Change your perception and you change the “movie.”
Here are 25 things off the top of my head I have done in the past to alleviate stress. Feel free to leave comments and add to the list. Let’s all help each other!
Close your eyes and take 3 deep diaphragmatic breaths (push your stomach out when you inhale) – breath always brings you directly back to your soul.
Move your body – walk, bike, run, stretch, jump on a trampoline, etc.
Sing a song (out loud – hey, if I can do it with my voice, so can you!)
Smile – you actually use more muscles to frown than to smile.
Listen to your favorite song or some relaxing music.
Eat more greens (spinach, kale, and arugula) – greens are very grounding and balancing.
Meditate or pray – worry is a form of prayer, so create thoughts that are more of what you want to see in your life, not what you are worried may happen.
Sleep – this is not overrated! We need sleep to recharge and we also get much of our spiritual guidance through our sleeping dreams.
Close your eyes and visualize being in your favorite place – feel the joy of being there.
Go out in nature – nature is a natural balancer of energy.
Get away from your source of stress whether it is a person, place or thing.
Light a candle – light is healing and is often used to clear out and protect energy.
Take a bath – essential oils such as lavender are great!
Peel an orange and smell the rind – citrus smells are a great stress reliever.
Choose fruit instead of a sugary treat – sugar tends to aggravate stress and is thought to be a cause of depression.
Clean something – it is truly cathartic.
Lie down, spread your arms and legs out and just breathe for 10 minutes.
Get near running water – the sound is very soothing and healing. Wash your hands up to your elbows. Toxins collect in the forearms.
Garden – pick some fresh flowers, weed, or plant something new in your garden.
Pet your cat or dog. Pets actually absorb negative energy to protect us.
Organize yourself (a drawer, desk, etc.) – feeling organized makes you feel less stressed.
Drink a glass of water – water is cleansing and purifying to the soul and to your physical body.
Drink a cup of hot tea – peppermint and chamomile are the best.
Avoid gossip and negative people – walk away, change the subject of conversation, avoid certain places, etc.
Remember that you are in control of you. 80% of the thoughts you have on a daily basis are lies that come from your past conditioning. Always question your thoughts. You cannot believe everything you think.
“Faith is the power to stand up to the madness and chaos of the physical world while holding the position that nothing external has any authority over what heaven has in mind for you.” ~Caroline Myss
Desserts, desert – I always get confused! Lol!
Chris
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Instagram, LinkedIn. Feature image licensed from Pixabay.
And We’ll Have Fun, Fun, Fun
“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer
I will never forget sitting in my parent’s living room in Cleveland with my Dad 2 months before he passed away from cancer. He was sitting in his usual lounge chair with his feet up just staring into space looking scared to death. I remember not knowing what to say to him to alleviate his fears and the pain he was going through. I made an assumption. I thought he was afraid of dying. So I asked him. “Dad, I know the thought of dying is scary. Is there anything I can do to help?” He looked up at me and said the following, “Chris, I’m not afraid to die. I know God will be there to meet me. It’s all of the life I didn’t live and now never will have a chance to that gets to me.”
Those words still ring in my ears to this day. I made a vow at that moment to live my life in a way where at the end of it I would never have to say the words, “I wish I would have.”
We get very caught up in our lives; working, driving, cleaning, kids, etc. These things are a necessity. We have to pay our bills, take care of our kids, eat, get gas in our car, and the list goes on and on. But what we forget is our life is made up of these moments and of the moments in between. I meet people that seem to have an attitude of “I will do that when” When what? When the kids grow up, when I have money, when I’m older, when I get divorced, when I’m done with school. I’m sure you can finish off the list. If I learned anything from the experience of watching my father die it was to live life NOW! Not tomorrow, not when the time seems right, not when things are perfect, but now!
I met a man from Scotland named Gordon when I was in Seattle a few years ago. He was traveling alone and so was I. We met at the Boeing plant tour and gravitated to each other immediately. We ended up spending the day together touring Seattle. At the end of our day on the bus ride back to our respective hotels, Gordon asked me why I was traveling in Seattle alone. I proceeded to tell him I had a speaking engagement in Seattle but decided to leave 2 weeks early, fly into Colorado and drive my way to Seattle; hiking Canyonlands, Bryce Canyon, the Great Basin and Mount Shasta along the way (See my Journey West blog Category – it’s a hoot to read!). He got tears in his eyes as he touched my arm and said, “Good for you for not waiting to live your life! I waited 2 years to take this trip.” He then told me his story. Two years earlier his wife of 65 years and the love of his life, died from lung cancer. She was diagnosed and then passed away 6 weeks later, leaving no time at all for Gordon to prepare to not have his sweetheart in his life anymore. They loved each other very much and had a passion for traveling. They saved all of their money for when they retired so they could travel the world together. Carol died 2 weeks before she was eligible to retire. With tears streaming down his face, Gordon said, “Never once did I think one of us would not be here when we reached retirement.”
Stop waiting to live your life. Make play a habit. Every day do something that brings you joy. Say what you want to say to people. Tell them how you feel. Stop the excuses. Money always shows up when you need it and just in the right amount. You always have what you need so if you don’t have it you mustn’t need it. We were born here to this Earth to enjoy life, not to suffer. Question your thinking when you find yourself making excuse after excuse. 80% of what you think is a lie. It is only your “story.” Change your story!
My roommate Elaina and I have been working very hard at our businesses since we moved to Scottsdale, AZ. We have been blessed with meeting new people, experiencing amazing synchronicities and having what we need when we need it. We balance our work with lots of play; hiking in the mountains, swimming in our pool, hanging out with new friends, etc. We decided after a long grueling week last week to take a mini-vacation to Sedona (see the pictures). What an amazing time and the perfect shot of adrenaline to start our new week! Did we have other things that maybe needed to be done? Of course. But, we chose to balance our lives by having a little fun. All work and no play never worked for me anyway! LIVE YOUR LIFE NOW! HAVE FUN!!!
“Work like you don’t need the money; Love like you’ve never been hurt; Dance like no one is watching.” ~Unknown
Playing in my “sand box” (some call it “the desert”),
Chris
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Feature image licensed from Pixabay.
You want me to eat that?
Please enjoy today’s article from Elaina Love, author of three recipe books and founder of Pure Joy Planet and Pure Joy Academy as the guest columnist every Friday in the Journey Back to Self Blog. ~ Chris
Many people I speak with say they find it hard to be in a relationship with a man or woman who is not eating the same as them. In this blog, I will share with you some ways I have found that you can stay happily partnered while enjoying your own autonomy around food.
Some of the obstacles you have shared with me:
“It’s hard to come home at night to the smell of fresh popped popcorn (or fill in the blank) when I’m trying to stay on a low carb/raw food program.”
“When I go to a restaurant, if bread is on the table, it’s too hard to resist. My partner wants to have it on the table and I’d rather not have the opiate temptation!”
“I try not to have food in the house that I might eat in a moment of weakness such as ice cream, cookies or breads. My husband loves to have these around, what can I do?”
“My boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t eat the way I do, and he/she seems to always be cooking up something yummy smelling in my hungriest moments. How do I resist the amazing smells?”
“I’m pretty good at eating well when I am home, but when we go on vacation, it seems to get a little out of control. My mate likes to eat at places that have french fries and pastries. I usually come back home feeling depressed and 5 pounds heavier from all the “junk” I couldn’t resist on my vacation.”
“When I visit my parents, my mom gets her feelings hurt if I don’t accept her offerings of processed foods. I really don’t feel well when I eat those foods, what can I do to make everyone happy?”
Does any of this sound familiar?
Here are some solutions:
Start with talking about it. Sometimes our friends, family and mates don’t understand how painful it is for us to be trying so hard to do right by ourselves only to feel sabotaged when they order a pizza. If you appeal to their softer side and say something like, “How do you feel about some healthy dishes tonight? I’m in the mood for. How do you feel about that?” The other way is to tell them how much you love them and that it is nothing personal but you don’t want to be around when they are eating those types of foods so maybe they could eat it when you are not with them or let you know so you can wait to come around.
If the smell of popcorn or fresh toast is intoxicating to you, consider: Having your own delicious gluten-free almond bread already made and easy to grab when you are feeling tempted. Top it with Veganaise or smear some avocado on it and sprinkle with your favorite seasoning and you’ve got a delicious treat!
When your partner orders bread, ask the waiter to also bring out a small salad right away. This will help you have something to munch on instead of just watching the rest of the table enjoy the bread. Yes, it’s true bread has opiates in it, this means even the smell of it kicks in our pleasure-seeking addictions. Another option, which I used to do a lot before I could be around bread without eating it, is to bring your own gluten-free flax crackers or something healthy in your bag. You can slip them out one at a time and munch on them while you are waiting for your healthier choices to arrive. If there is a healthy dip at the table such as hummus or salsa, you can ask for a plate of cut up veggies to dip with.
Here is what I have done in the past when other household members have foods my hips want nothing to do with: Create a separate snack food cupboard for them that you don’t go into. If even that doesn’t stop you, consider buying your own, healthier versions such as baked corn chips instead of fried, gluten-free, fruit-juice-sweetened cookies instead of Tollhouse, Coconut Bliss instead of Dryers. At least if you are going to indulge, it’s a healthier option. One other trick that has worked for me in the past is to ask your mate to hide the ice cream in the back of the freezer underneath the frozen peas. That way you don’t see it when you open the freezer. Out of sight, out of mind.
Smelling a warm, delicious food can be very tempting, especially when you are hungry. The best course of action is to always have things around that will satisfy a craving. For me it’s salads with a hearty dressing such as my vegan ranch (available in Elaina’s Pure Joy Kitchen Book 2) topped with avocado and crunchy pumpkin seeds. Still need more satisfaction? Try Kale Chips. You can buy these at Whole Foods Market or make your own nut free version!
Bring enough food to share with your mom when you visit. Maybe she will love your flax crackers and hummus. Make her a morning smoothie or green juice. If she offers you something, say I would love some fruit, do you have any? (Most mom’s always have fruit around). That way she feels you are accepting something from her and she feels good. When it’s meal time, offer to make a big salad or something healthy that you enjoy, that way you always have something nourishing to eat. My family loves my kale salad piled high with pine nuts and avocados!
When all is said and done, the last thing we want is for food to come between us and the ones we love. Share your feelings and share your food. If you are persistent, like me, and continue to make super healthy foods and treats that are always on hand, your mate or roommate will love your food and be happy to eat it and maybe even start requesting it!
Bringing pure joy and gourmet bliss to the planet,
Elaina Love
Author, Director of Pure Academy and Public Speaker, connect on LinkedIn.
