clock January 25, 2013
author Chris Sopa

The Fine Art of Worry

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry.  If it is not fixable, then there is no help in worrying.”
~Dali Lama

Worry = a state of anxiety over actual or potential problems.

I will admit it…I am a recovering worry wart.  Yes, it is true.  I used to have worrying down to a science.  I would worry going to bed, worry in my dreams and be worried waking up.  Worrying is like any other habit that we have – the more we engage in it the more we do it without thinking.  Half the time when I was worrying, I didn’t even really know what I was worrying about.  Then, if there was nothing obvious to worry about, I would make something up.

As humans, our learning habits are formed when we are little.  Whatever the dominant environment was in your household when you were growing up is the environment in which you learned to function.  I love my mother dearly, but she will be the first one to tell you that she loves to worry.  I grew up in a household where the dominant environment was chaos.  There was always a crisis…even if it was an imaginary one.  As I grew older, because that was the only environment in which I knew how to function, that is the environment I created.   And worrying was my tool.  Even if something is painful to us, as humans, we prefer comfort.  Whatever is in our comfort zone is what we choose.

Regardless of what environment you prefer, we all find ourselves worrying at some point in our lives.  Here are some things to remember when you find yourself worrying:

  • Nothing is permanent.  People and situations flow in and out of our lives.  What you are experiencing now does have an end…have faith and be patient.
  • Stay in the present moment.  Every time you are worrying the only thing that has changed are the thoughts you are having about what is happening.  You are either thinking about the future or the past.  Come back to the present and realize you are fine in the here and now.
  • Ask yourself two questions, “Will this matter in five years?” and “Is this something I will be worrying about on my death bed?”  Those two questions usually kick you right back into reality.
  • Your mind plays tricks on you.  Do not believe everything you think.  According to Don Miguel Ruiz in his book “Mastery of Love,” 80% of what we think is a lie.  The majority of our thoughts have come from past conditioning which is made up of other people’s thoughts, fears and beliefs.
  • Remember that everything happens for a reason.  Good, bad, sad or happy – there is a purpose for everything in life (even pain).  We are the ones who define and label a situation as good or bad and worth worrying about.  Have faith and trust in the process of life.  Everything always works out exactly how it is supposed to…even if that means it is not how YOU wanted it to work.  We sometimes have to trust that God knows best.
  • Life is a school and every experience you have has buried within it a Divine lesson.  We all have a piece of God within us and if you believe that to be true, well you really can’t make a “mistake,” now can you?

Gratefully I let go and let God be God as me…

Have a worry-free weekend…you can do it!


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Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at Find her at, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .