“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry.  If it is not fixable, then there is no help in worrying.”
~Dali Lama

Worry = a state of anxiety over actual or potential problems.

I will admit it…I am a recovering worry wart.  Yes, it is true.  I used to have worrying down to a science.  I would worry going to bed, worry in my dreams and be worried waking up.  Worrying is like any other habit that we have – the more we engage in it the more we do it without thinking.  Half the time when I was worrying, I didn’t even really know what I was worrying about.  Then, if there was nothing obvious to worry about, I would make something up.

As humans, our learning habits are formed when we are little.  Whatever the dominant environment was in your household when you were growing up is the environment in which you learned to function.  I love my mother dearly, but she will be the first one to tell you that she loves to worry.  I grew up in a household where the dominant environment was chaos.  There was always a crisis…even if it was an imaginary one.  As I grew older, because that was the only environment in which I knew how to function, that is the environment I created.   And worrying was my tool.  Even if something is painful to us, as humans, we prefer comfort.  Whatever is in our comfort zone is what we choose.

Regardless of what environment you prefer, we all find ourselves worrying at some point in our lives.  Here are some things to remember when you find yourself worrying:

• Nothing is permanent.  People and situations flow in and out of our lives.  What you are experiencing now does have an end…have faith and be patient.
• Stay in the present moment.  Every time you are worrying the only thing that has changed are the thoughts you are having about what is happening.  You are either thinking about the future or the past.  Come back to the present and realize you are fine in the here and now.
• Ask yourself two questions, “Will this matter in five years?” and “Is this something I will be worrying about on my death bed?”  Those two questions usually kick you right back into reality.
• Your mind plays tricks on you.  Do not believe everything you think.  According to Don Miguel Ruiz in his book “Mastery of Love,” 80% of what we think is a lie.  The majority of our thoughts have come from past conditioning which is made up of other people’s thoughts, fears and beliefs.
• Remember that everything happens for a reason.  Good, bad, sad or happy – there is a purpose for everything in life (even pain).  We are the ones who define and label a situation as good or bad and worth worrying about.  Have faith and trust in the process of life.  Everything always works out exactly how it is supposed to…even if that means it is not how YOU wanted it to work.  We sometimes have to trust that God knows best.
• Life is a school and every experience you have has buried within it a Divine lesson.  We all have a piece of God within us and if you believe that to be true, well you really can’t make a “mistake,” now can you?

Gratefully I let go and let God be God as me…

Have a worry-free weekend…you can do it!

Chris

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Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.

There I was, sitting at my kitchen table in the new house my husband and I had just bought.  It was 2003.  I had a stack of bills in front of me that always seemed to be higher than the amount that was in our checking account needed to pay them.  I had just come through a life-threatening illness and was finally asymptomatic.

I recently had returned to my corporate job after four months of being on short-term disability.  I knew it was a mistake but the bills had to get paid.  After all, I had a responsibility to my family to take care of them.  The problem was, no one was taking care of me…including myself.

I sat there staring at the pile of bills and a question hit me:  Which one can I do more without, money or my health?  It was then that it hit me.  If I continued down the same path that made me sick, I would surely end up sick again.  Nothing changes if nothing changes.  I had to make a change in order to keep my health.  Money means nothing unless you are healthy and feel good to enjoy the benefits having money brings.  Who wants to travel when they are sick?  Who can enjoy their beautiful house if they are working all of the time and then when they are home, they are in bed because they are so exhausted?

It was then that I made a choice.  I chose to leave my corporate job and start my own business where I had the flexibility to choose how to spend my time as well as how much money I deserved to make.  I chose faith over fear.  There were a lot of unknowns in front of me.  Would I be successful?  What exactly would I do?  Would I make enough money?  What if I didn’t?  I decided I could not afford to be afraid and took the leap.  My life depended on it.

Now, almost 10 years later, I can tell you a few things that I learned about choosing to make my decision on faith instead of in fear.

• There is a difference between thinking something and feeling it.  It is when you let go of the “what ifs” that your belief takes hold.  When you finally feel it, it is then that the thing you want comes to pass.
• There is less energy involved in faith than in fear.  Fear drains you…faith feeds you.
• Talking about faith and walking in faith are two different things.  Anyone can say that they have faith…very few walk the talk.
• Worry is a lack of faith.  Find that part of you down deep that knows you will be okay.  It is there.  It is just hiding behind the darkness that you call your thoughts.

Finally, every single day take time out to do at least one activity that nurtures you and your soul.  Do something that brings you joy even if it is only for 10 minutes.  If you find that fear creeps up on you again, realize that the only thing that changes from one moment to the next is the thought you are holding in your mind.  Change your thought, do something kind for yourself or someone else and watch with open eyes what the world looks like when you see it through the lens of faith.

Trust me…it is a beauty!  😉

Love you,

Chris

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.

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“One cannot weep for the entire world.  It is beyond human strength.  One must choose.” ~Jean Anouilh

Ok, hands up if you would label yourself a “control freak?”  Its ok, my hand is up too.

Here is the thing about us control freaks…we worry.  Worry about money, worry about our kids, worry about our friends, worry about the poor innocent ant we just accidentally stepped on and whether we are going to go to heaven now…we just worry.  And if there is nothing to worry about, self-sabotage kicks in and we subconsciously create a drama so there is something to worry about.  I know, it sounds sick when you actually say it out loud.  But it’s true.

Why is it that we believe that by thinking and worrying about something incessantly it is going to solve the problem?  It’s like we believe there is a little clock in the heavens that measures the amount of time we think about something and go over and over it in our minds and if we do that enough, Whamo!, the answer will appear and all will be good in the world again.  Wrong!  We are made of energy and so is everything around us.  Our thoughts are a form of energy.  When we think about something, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, we are giving energy to “that thing.”  Since the universe’s language is energy, it picks up the signal of what we are thinking about most (our worry) and thinks that is what we want more of, since we are thinking about it so much, so it makes it so.  Worrying is a form of prayer.  Prayer is simply the process of giving our thoughts to God.  What thoughts have you been giving to God lately?  Are they of gratitude for what you do have in your life or are they worrisome thoughts of why things are not how you want them to be?  God is a kind God; at least that is my belief.  Nothing happens in this world, even if you perceive it as “bad,” that is out of alignment with God’s highest plan for you.  Sometimes it is those things that tear us down that eventually are the catalyst that builds us back up later.

Lately, my personal struggle has been worrying about my 20 year old daughter.  She is 6 months pregnant and let’s just say “lost” at the moment.  My first instinct…to worry about her.  My second instinct…to jump in and “save” her by fixing it all for her so she is happy.  But, what makes me think if her situation is “fixed” she would be happy?  Is that true?  I don’t know God’s plan for her.  Only God knows that.

Let’s take Lazarus as an example.  Jesus loved Lazarus like a brother and did not want him to die.  When Jesus found out Lazarus was sick and dying, he did not intervene by running to Lazarus’ side, shoving raw food and vitamins down his throat  and making him drink water to flush out his system…he left town as planned.  He did not only leave town, he stayed away for 2 days.  Was that hard for Jesus?  I would guess it was agonizing.  But, Jesus knew his Father had a plan for Lazarus and he did not want to interfere with that plan, even if it would make him feel better…even if it meant he had to watch his friend suffer.  “Love one another as I have loved you”…that was the plan.

God never leaves our side during suffering…he and his angels are always there.  We must learn to step out of the way and allow him to do his work.  We need to stop playing God by thinking we know what is best for those around us.  Just because it makes us feel better and would be what we would do, does not necessarily mean it is best for those we love.

Sometimes we must love from a distance, watch those we love fall and simply be the hand that comes in to help them pick up the pieces when it is all over.

Worrying never solved anything…

“Though we would love to run and catch them, we have to let the people we love stumble and fall.  In this way, they can get back up, and without any nudging from us, go on to choose the best path for them into their Father’s arms.”
~Allia Zobel Nolan, “The Worrywart’s Prayer Book”

Praying a different way,

Chris

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.