“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.”
~Matthew 6:22-23
As little as 5 years ago, you would have NEVER been able to convince me to put on lingerie and have someone take pictures of me. The traditional “recovering Catholic” girl in me would have heard that little voice in the back of my head saying, “Good girls don’t do things like that!” or “You don’t show your body to other people.” Or better yet, “How sinful!”
Over the last 20+ years that I have been working with women, one thing that ALL women have in common is an inability to see our physical selves as others see us. Our inner eye wears a filter, created by society, comments friends or family have made to us over the years, and our own debilitating self-talk. This filter has a dark lens…one that filters out all the good and only illuminates the bad. In reality, how we perceive we look to others is NOT how others see us. The question becomes…how do we change that lens?
Boudoir photography is a luxurious photo experience, normally done in a bedroom setting (hence the actual dictionary meaning of the word “boudoir” = woman’s bedroom or private space) that is meant to enhance the feelings of romance, courageousness, and strength. Many women choose to do boudoir photography to help change how they feel about their physical body. Let me clarify that boudoir is not raunchy, dirty, or pornography. Boudoir is a beautiful way of allowing women to fully embrace their femininity and feel beautiful in their own bodies…as is!
My journey with boudoir started when my cousin and his wife invited me to Costa Rica with them on vacation. My cousin’s wife, Amy, is a very talented and successful boudoir photographer. Two weeks before our trip to Costa Rica, Amy texted me and said she wanted to practice taking pictures outside of her studio in remote locations so was wondering if I would be a model for her in Costa Rica so she could practice. With surprisingly little hesitation, I said yes.
When shooting day arrived, Amy sat me down and asked me what parts of my body I was the most insecure about and if there was anything in particular that I wanted to focus on. As a 51-year-old woman smack dab in the middle of menopause, I was insecure about everything! I decided to go into the shoot with a completely open mind and to totally trust Amy to do what she does best.
What I experienced was a total transformation on how I not only saw my body, but how I felt about my body. Amy is a master at posing you perfectly, at body lines, and gently encouraging you during the shoot. During the shoot, we had a blast and tried many different outfits and poses both inside and outside in the Costa Rican jungle (surrounded by howling monkeys and macaws flying overhead!). One thing I loved that Amy did was show me some of the pictures right after she took them so I knew how I looked in real time. This was super powerful!
When I arrived home from Costa Rica, before I even saw my pictures in their finished form (note: Amy does not photoshop the pictures, she only fixes any lighting or shadowing that needs to be done), I noticed that my self-talk around my body had slightly changed. I wanted to wear dresses that week, (which I normally never want to do because I usually hate my legs), and I didn’t think my lower stomach or legs looked as “fat” as I thought they did before. The major turning point was one morning when I looked in the mirror and I said out loud to myself, “damn girl, you look good!” …which I never would have said to myself in the past because I never believed that to be true. What boudoir did for me was help me change the vibration of how I was seeing myself. It helped change the lens I wore over my inner eye to one that was a bit brighter.
At the end of the day, how we see ourselves dictates how we treat ourselves. We do not take care of what we do not value. Be brave enough to change that dark lens that covers your inner eye to one that is brighter, one that shines the light on how beautiful you are no matter what size, and one that changes your self-talk to encouraging, uplifting words that lift you up instead of drag you down. If boudoir is not for you, that is OK. It is simply one means of achieving this end. Start small and imagine how it would feel if you loved your body. Hold onto that feeling and create a new vibration that you can slowly begin to live into. Pay attention to your self-talk and say kind words to yourself. Big changes start with small steps.
Amy and I worked so well together that we decided to combine our “superpowers.” We will be offering 2-day workshops in Costa Rica that include transformational work around self-worth and reframing the limiting beliefs that hold us back, followed by an hour boudoir shoot with Amy. Stay tuned for how to sign up for the “Intimate Journey in the Jungle” soon! If you want to check out Amy and her work, visit her at theintimatestory.com or on her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/theintimatestory.
In the meantime, look in the mirror and tell yourself how hot you are! 😊
Joyful in the Jungle,
Dr. Chris
A Butterfly’s Wing“…physics tell us that beneath the surface, every object and event in the universe is completely woven up with every other object and event. There is no true separation.” ~Dr.Eben Alexander, “Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife”
Since I have moved to Arizona, not one day has gone by where I have not seen a butterfly. Butterflies symbolize transformation and are the symbol of letting go of the old to welcome a new life. (Ironic, considering why I moved to Arizona.) When you watch a butterfly, you can’t help but notice the pure joy it seems to experience flitting (yes, that is a word) around like it does. Considering its beginnings were in the small safety of a cocoon, the butterfly represents pure freedom and complete transformation.
Looking a little closer, you notice the complexity hidden behind its pure simplicity. Each wing is made up of more colors than you can even see with the naked eye and if you are so lucky as to touch one of its wings, you find it is as thin as paper. Each color on the wing is distinct and stands on its own, but at the same time blends with the colors around it to form the pattern of the wing itself.
One of the biggest misconceptions we have as humans is that we are separate from everything and everyone around us. We, as individuals, have been taught that we live in our own world. We suffer the consequences of our choices and reap the rewards of our accomplishments. We are taught to be separate from everyone else yet at the same time agonize whether we “fit in” with the crowd.
I tell a story in my keynotes of a woman who is standing on a bridge holding a pebble in her hand. This woman is the deceased grandmother of my friend Al who had an experience with the afterlife after a near death experience where he was shown scenes of his life from the other persons perceptive rather than his own. His grandmother escorted him on this life review journey and at the end guided him to this bridge. With the pebble in hand, she dropped the pebble into the vast ocean beneath and they together watched the ripple effect the pebble had on the huge body of water. She turned to her grandson and said, “Just as this small pebble sent ripples through the entire body of water, so follows that your deeds and thoughts affect all.”
We, spirits having a human experience, are given the gift of creation; the ability to make choices in order to create the reality we want. The lesson which we have forgotten is that in order to create this reality, we need each other. Just as each individual color woven together makes the beautiful wings of the butterfly, each of us individually together makes up the human race. The pattern we have chosen to weave lately is not one in which I, as a human, have been proud. Watching the politicians backstab, children being tortured and killed by their own mothers, innocent people being shot or caught in an explosion…I can’t help but wonder if a wing made of such hate and separateness would fly?
One day soon we will come to understand that the only way out is together. What we do for others, we do for ourselves. Its the law of physics…those who come from the same Source are bound together, past and future.
In Dr. Eben Alexanders journey to the afterlife he was given this message that is for everyone to hear:
You are loved and cherished, dearly, forever.
You have nothing to fear.
There is nothing you can do wrong.
You are loved unconditionally by God,
Chris
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
Purchase your copy of Chris Sopa’s new book, “Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” published by Balboa Press.