Breaking Free!

“You are destined to fly, but that cocoon has to go!”
 ~Nelle Morton

The Story of the Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.  One day a small opening appeared.  He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.  Then it stopped, as if it couldn’t go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.  He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.  The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body.  Neither happened!  In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around.  It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle was required by the butterfly to get through the opening and was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives.  Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.  We would not be as strong as we could have been and we would never be able to fly.


At one point in my life, it seemed as if no matter what I was going through, friends and family would constantly say to me, “Well, you know what they say, when one door closes, God opens a window.”  I used to think that was such a cliché.  When doors in my life closed, they slammed.  And on top of that, it seemed that I would be gasping for air before God would even crack a window let alone open one.  Maybe it was the lack of oxygen over the years, but now I can truly say I know better.

The painful situations in our lives are blessings.  No, they don’t feel like blessings at the time.  I admit; they suck!  But if you think back on your life, your most valuable and important lessons came through some kind of pain.  We all like to be happy, but let’s face it, what do you really learn when you are happy?  It is the pain and struggle in our lives that moves us forward and sets us free…every time!

Look at your life right now and instead of avoiding the pain, as we so often do, face it.  Take the challenge head on and allow the experience to unfold.  Whether it is a loss of a job, a break up, a death, a move (cough, cough), or even simply a physical pain; FEEL IT!  I know it sounds crazy but for once let yourself feel the pain.  What you find out is that the pain is worse in your head than it is in actuality.  Allowing yourself to feel the pain is what sets you free to move to the next phase of your life.  Avoiding it doesn’t make it go away; it allows it to grow and become even more painful.  Your perception is your reality and when something sits in your head long enough it grows, and grows, and grows.  Keep your eyes forward; don’t look back.  When you stay here in the present you are never sad or in pain.  It is only when we are past-reliving or future-tripping that we feel pain.  Take control of where your mind and eyes go.  Focus on what you want and what is good.  Reflect, detach and then move forward.

Painfully Yours,


Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at Find her at, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .

And The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.  The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure.  The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new a different sun.”
~Aron Ralston, “Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Have you ever had that annoying experience of a fly buzzing around your head and no matter how many times you swat it, it is still there?  That fly has a goal and your head is it!  It will keep buzzing until the mission is accomplished…or it gets splat!

The Universe acts in a very similar way.  We tend to see the same types of people, the same set of circumstances and the same habits over and over again in our lives…the same, the same, the same.  Do you ever wonder why you attract the same kind of person time and time again to date?  Why you end up with money issues month after month no matter what you do differently?

Life is a school.  We are here to learn specific lessons about ourselves, our relationship with God and life itself.  Unfortunately, sometimes it takes us a few times to learn the lesson.  It comes back around for us time and time again in the form of the same type of relationships and situations with the pain of not learning the lesson increasing each time as it comes around (to get our attention) until we finally have that wonderful “ah-ha!” moment and get it.

Everything in life is in cycles and rhythms.  The moon has cycles, your body has cycles, your breathing is a cycle, and time is a constant cycle…what goes around comes back around eventually.  Some call this karma…I call it creating your reality.  The cycles in your life are your rhythm.  Just like every song has a certain rhythm, so do you.  When you fight and fight to keep your cycles from happening due to fear of change and uncertainty, you lose your rhythm and no one can hear your true and unique song.

You know when you listen to a song when the tune is about to change by the sound of the previous note and the flow of the song.  Your life is no different.  You can tell when something needs to change and what part of the cycle you are in at the moment by your feelings.  Feelings are the language of the Universe and when something in your life needs to change, or move through a cycle, your feelings about that person or situation change.  The wheel is turning to try and show you a new view but we often are holding onto our wheel so tightly we don’t allow it to turn.

Look at your life this weekend and take an inventory of how you feel about each area of your life; relationships, friends, career, finances and even spirituality.  Ask yourself, “How do I feel about this area of my life?  Does anything need to change?  What part of the cycle am I in?”  Endings are a part of life.  Many individuals lately are experiencing many endings.  An ending heralds a new beginning on the horizon.  Embrace the ending for what it is and allow the cycle of life to lead you to your next road.  You cannot turn a corner if you do not allow the wheels of your life to turn and take you to the next adventure.
Let life guide you.  All you need to do is take one step at a time, one moment at a time and you will get there.  You only need to see the first step and just trust the whole staircase is there. And who knows…there may be a rainbow at the end of the road or a prince/princess?  You’ll never know unless you let those wheels turn!

Turing the corner soon from MD to AZ,


For more information on Chris Sopa International, Inc. go to