A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself.“
When you were born, you believed in yourself. You knew your purpose. You trusted the Divine.
Then it happened…you began to believe in the illusion around you. What other people thought and believed became your truth because you wanted to belong and be a part of something. The fear of being alone drives more self-limiting behaviors than any other fear. You began to move from your heart guiding you to your mind guiding you. The mind is a beautiful tool, if used correctly. We began to individualize our minds and then believed we were separate from everything and everyone around us. We felt alone…the one feeling we were trying to avoid.
Whatever your beliefs might be, know this…the human mind is simply the place where we individualize God. What if your life was about letting go of your self-created limiting beliefs and instead letting God be God as YOU?
Our world is transforming. What is “breaking down” is not the world, but the consciousness that created it. We did that…now it is our turn to balance what has been done. The confidence you have in yourself does not come from anything external; it comes from that silent place within that is YOU. You can do and be anything you wish…your only job is to define those wishes, find that peaceful place within and allow the brilliant tapestry to unfold. On the surface it may look broken, not how you imagined, and maybe even frightening. The path you ended up on may not be the one you imagined. Know that everything in the Universe happens for the highest good. Souls do sacrifice their time here so others can learn what they need to learn and fulfill their purpose. When a tragedy occurs, instead of focusing on the horrible aspects of it, step back and look deeper. See people coming together, helping each other and letting compassion win. We must believe we scripted what we did in our lives for a reason, knowing we could handle all that has occurred and will occur.
Life is not so much about living…it is about allowing life to come through as YOU.
Stop focusing on what may or may not happen to the foundation on which you find yourself standing. Look forward, take a breath and believe in yourself. You are so special God chose you to be here at this time. He is living through you to experience life AS you. The answers are there…you just have to silence your mind enough to hear them.
We love you just as you are. No strings attached…promise.
When you come to the edge of the light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.” ~Patrick Overton
Believing in you,
Chris
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
Self-Love
This is an excerpt from Chapter 5 Believe in Yourself of “Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” by Chris Sopa published by Balboa Press. Click here to purchase your copy!
“Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things!“
If I were to ask you if you loved your children, you would more than likely answer with a very rapid “Yes!” Don’t you find it funny that we can so unabashedly love an extension of ourselves but not love our own selves?
When we think of the love we have for our children, we know we love them because of how they make us feel. We would do anything for them, no matter what. We would give up anything for them. Make any sacrifice for them. We want the best for them and do whatever we can to make sure they have the best life possible. You know when they are sick or not feeling well because your “mother/father instincts” tell you so. You know them so well that you know what they need, what their moods mean, and when they are just plain tired or hungry.
Just for one minute, I would like you to be your own parent. Treat yourself as you would that child you love so much. What would you do first for you? What do you need right now?
If you find it hard to answer these questions and to know what to do for yourself, you are lacking self-love. We do not take care of that which we do not love.
If I were to tag one area where almost all of my clients have a similar missing link, it would be in the area of self-love. When I ask them to do a Bucket List of things they want in their lives, I get a list of things they want for their spouses, children, and friends. When I ask them to take some time during the day for themselves, even if it is just for five minutes, I get the guilt response of “I don’t have time” every single time. Funny how when our children need our time we find the time but when we need the time, there is no time. I ask all of my audiences to ask themselves this question: “If you treated your friends like you do yourself and if you said to your friends what you say to yourself, how many friends would you have?” I always get a gasp from the audience at this point. You know the answer.
I have wondered often about how we get to the point where we lose our love for ourselves. We are born with it. We are born with the Divine knowing that we are important, lovable and worthy. What happens? Where does it go?
Over our many years of living, we allow people, things, thoughts, and places to take our power. Every time we allow something into our thoughts that takes away a little piece of us and makes us think we are not important enough to have love in our life, our power has been taken. We know this has happened by how we feel. As soon as you have an interaction with someone or something and it makes you feel “bad,” you know you have lost your power. You could lose your power to a specific person, money, a job, an actual place, a thought pattern…you name it. Every time you allow your power to be taken, you lose a little bit of self-love. Balance is not letting anyone or anything love you more than you love yourself.
Self-love is THE most important thing you need in this life. In order to have self-esteem, which we will discuss later in detail, you need to love yourself first. You cannot hold yourself in esteem until you love yourself. The question becomes, once you lose it, how do you get it back?
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
Finding Meaning“Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning.”
~Victor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning“
We have all heard the phrase, “what does not kill me makes me stronger.” Let’s face it, some of us have had some pretty bad things happen in our lives…terrifying, heart-wrenching things. Things we do not want to think about let alone talk about.
No matter what has happened to you, the past cannot be changed. The event is there and cannot be erased. But…there is one thing that CAN change – your perspective. Victor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning describes his life in a Nazi concentration camp. What he noticed was the prisoners (who were all undergoing the same treatment) that found meaning in their lives, or something to live for, continued to live.
“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
You and I could experience the same exact circumstance but what will be different is how we each embrace, interpret, value, symbolize and respond to it. How we respond, is a matter of personal choice. We were given free will – the ability to choose – in order to experience a balanced life and to grow as a human being. Growth occurs through our greatest challenges…those are our greatest moments and the exact moments we came here for. Yes, we embrace the experiences that bring us joy, such as the embrace of a loved one, but the very thing that allows us to appreciate that moment is our past challenges that we overcame…the exact circumstances that made us who we are today.
Take an inventory of those things in your life you now call challenges and evaluate how you are choosing to look at that challenge. What meaning are you giving it? What can you do to feel better right now? What did you learn from the challenge? What would you do different if that same challenge was presented to you again in a different form?
Use your challenges as life lessons that build you up rather than tear you down. In order for your life to change, YOU have to change. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing, you will stay the same.
Lots of love to you this Valentine’s Day,
Chris
“Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” by Chris Sopa published by Balboa Press.
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
Self-Love
~Jennifer Posada
I was recently asked by my friend Daylle Deanna Schwartz to contribute to an article she wrote on self-love. She asked me and several other experts what we did to love ourselves every day. Click on the link below to see what she had to say:
Self-love is a tricky thing. Why do we find it so easy to love someone else but so hard to love ourselves? Where did the whole mind-set of breaking ourselves down begin? Love is like your gas tank. I know it is not the most romantic analogy, but think of it this way. When your gas tank is full, your car can go miles and performs at its peak. When your car is on empty, it sputters, stalls out and then you are going nowhere. Love is the same way. You cannot give what you do not have. Loving yourself is the key to being the best person you can be for the others in your life who you also love so dearly. Don’t you want to give them all you can?
At this moment, if you realize that you are lacking a bit in the self-love category, here are a few suggestions to get you started:
The biggest gift you can give yourself is loving yourself. This not only benefits you, but everyone whose life you touch. ~Chris Sopa
Loving you,
Chris
Resources:
For more on self-love, visit Daylle Deanna Schwartz’s self-love movement at http://howdoiloveme.com/ .
Or Jennifer Posada at http://www.jenniferposada.com/.
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
Are You A Master?Things happen to us in our lives. People hurt us, we are disappointed, things don’t go as we expected. This was not the life we signed up for…or is it?
I believe that we signed up for exactly the life we are living. I know what you are thinking…”Sopa, have you gone mad! Why would I sign up for this?” If you are experiencing suffering, sorrow or pain at the moment, ask yourself this question: Who would I be if this experience never happened to me? Would you have the same people in your life? Would you have taken the steps you did for growth without that experience?
Yes, things happen in our lives that hurt. But nothing that has happened to you has been meant to break you or reduce you to something less than who you are. Whatever has happened to you has happened to make you into who you are!
Do not allow experiences or people to take away your power. You may have physically mastered this life but being able to hold on to your power means that you have mentally, emotionally and spiritually mastered your life. Have you?
Being a Master entails being self-aware at all times. Not being afraid to ask questions such as, What is really going on here? What is the Universe (God) trying to show me? What is the lesson underneath all of this? No matter how painful the experience is at this time. Sometimes what we see is not so pretty. When something has been hiding in the dark for a time, it tends to be pretty rancid and smelly. Maybe it’s time for a shower? A shower not of water but of compassion, understanding and love…love for yourself. Understanding that you did the best you could in each moment of your life based on where and who you were at that time. Have compassion for yourself instead of being so hard on yourself day in and day out. We fear crucifixion by others but the one we should truly fear is ourselves. We are the ones that create our own hell or heaven. We create our reality daily by where we choose to put our attention. Where is your attention today? Is it on what you have lost or is it on what you are grateful for that is still in your life? Are you breathing today? That is one huge reason to be grateful. Put your head and reason aside and learn to use your heart and what I like to call, your “hidden senses.”
“Reason knows when to step aside, the way the sense of smell is uninvolved when reading a book…like a telescope that cannot take us to the stars but that lets us know the stars are there. Reason points us to what lies beyond itself.“ ~L. Pascal
There is something beyond what we see and what we currently think of as “real.” Our five senses do not give us the whole picture…only a portion of it. You cannot see electricity but you know it exists because you use it every day. Just because you can no longer see and physically feel a loved one, why do you assume they are no longer there? Practice using your senses of intuition and feeling. Trust them. Those senses are more “real” than the ones in your physical world. No one can change them, alter them or hurt them. They exist in your heart and you are the one that gets to determine how “real” what you experience really is. No one else.
Be your own Master and create the world you want to experience.
Masterfully yours,
Chris
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
“Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” by Chris Sopa published by Balboa Press.
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” ~C. Joy Bell
Self Love Poem by Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!
Take the time to do one thing for yourself today.
Love yourself and do it for YOU,
Chris
(Thank you Elaine!)
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
Click here to purchase your copy of “Choosing The Life You Were Born to Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” by Chris Sopa
“Your enemy reflects back to you everything that you do not like about yourself. He shows you exactly where your fears and insecurities lie. If you listen to what your enemy is saying to you, you will know exactly where you must make corrections in yourself. Only one who opposes you thus can be such an effective teacher.”
~Paul Ferrini, “Love Without Conditions”
Admit it…we all have someone who makes our blood boil. Maybe you have more than one. Mine usually come in the form of ex-romantic significant others. Did you ever wonder why these people exist in your life? I don’t mean “on the face of the earth exist” (I know that was where you were going…wishing they had never been born! Lol!) but why are they showing up in your life in what you perceive to be a difficult form? Do you think God is just playing a mean trick on you, purposely trying to make your life miserable? Don’t laugh, some people really do run the victim mentality of “God is out to get me.” I personally would think God has better things to do, but it is a question that begs to be answered.
Anytime we are faced with someone in our lives who disagrees with us, makes us uncomfortable in some form or simply does something to us we do not like, we are being asked to look deeper. These situations do not arise simply because “that is life.” These situations arise because there is a lesson to be learned by both parties. A lesson, more than likely, that cannot be taught by anyone else but someone who annoys you to the core.
Those who hurt you the most are your greatest teachers. How can that be? Ask yourself this question: How have you learned your most valuable lessons, through pain or joy? Most people have learned the lessons that stick with them the most through some kind of pain in their life. The Universe uses pain because it is by far the best way to get our attention. We do not like to be in pain. It hurts. We will do anything to not be in pain…even give up and give in and finally change. Until the pain of where you are is greater than the fear of changing, you will stay where you are. Those individuals that you call your “enemies” that have wronged you and hurt you so bad that you use words like hate, can’t stand and despise when their names come up in conversation, are the ones who are teaching you the most about yourself. They are the mirror to your own soul. They are reflecting back to you the exact things that are inside of you that need to be seen, released and healed once and for all.
Name anyone in your life right now, enemy or friend, and they are in your life, at this moment, for a reason. They are here to teach you something you need to learn about yourself. What feeling comes up when you are with this person? Where does the feeling show up in your body? Does it trigger any other past memories from your childhood or past? Are there any patterns you can identify around how this person makes you feel and how anyone else in your life makes you feel? Is your pain with these “enemies” in your life always work-related or personal? It is ultimately your choice if you learn the lesson they were brought to teach you. If you chose to not learn it, trust me when I tell you, another person and opportunity will come around shortly to teach you the same lesson, only this time the pain will be greater. The pain will continue to get greater until you learn to let go.
Just because “a teacher” is showing up in the form of someone you do not like does not mean you need to allow them to treat you poorly. Trust me; I have given many the boot that have crossed a personal boundary for me…sometimes after it has gone too far. The key is to be very self-aware of your feelings and be vigilant with your personal boundaries. Nothing is as important as honoring yourself. Look at the relationship and situation and ask yourself, “What is this person or situation trying to show or teach me?” and then take the steps needed to release your feelings, do what is needed, and move on.
You will always have challenges in your life. People and situations will challenge you constantly and that is a good thing. When you are being challenged you are growing and learning and becoming a better human being. We are spirits having a human experience…let’s show the heavens that we can do it right!
“If you work hard on your job, you make a living. If you work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune.”
~Jim Rohn
Loving my “teachers” in whatever form they show up,
Chris
Purchase your copy of Chris Sopa’s new book, “Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” published by Balboa Press.
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
One is a Whole Number
“In memory of Nancy Oberlin Bestwick and Dr. David Hawkins”
“In this interconnected universe, every improvement we make in our private world improves the world at large for everyone. We all float on the collective level of consciousness of mankind, so that any increment we add comes back to us. We all add to our common buoyancy by our efforts to benefit life. It is a scientific fact that what is good for you is good for me.” ~Dr. David Hawkins
A couple months before my Dad passed away from cancer in 2007, he said something to me I will never forget. One night as we sat in the living room of the house I grew up in, he looked over at me and said, “I hope when I die I am alone. I don’t want anyone to remember me dying…I want them to remember me living.”
There are certain points on “the journey of life” that are meant to be walked alone. Which points? We are not made privy to that information, but when the time comes, we know it. It may be after the loss of a loved one, at your own death, after a divorce, after a job loss, after recovery from an addiction or even before a significant yet unknown event is supposed to occur in your life. Regardless, being alone is mandatory. For some journeys God gives you only one seat.
Being alone is one of the biggest lessons we can learn as humans. Being alone is not easy…it is tough. You are left alone with YOU. No distractions, no one to get another opinion from, no one to tell you the “right” thing to do…no one. Feelings arise that come out of nowhere. Feelings of fear, loneliness, despair, or anxiety. Yes, at times we all enjoy being alone – self-time if you will – but being alone when you don’t necessarily want to be, now that is where true lessons are born.
To appreciate anything in life we must experience polarities. In order to know you like the company of others, you must have been alone at some time. To know happiness you must also at one time had to know sadness. The opposite of something is a part of that something – its opposite makes it whole. In order to be “whole,” we must savor each experience AND it’s opposite. A whole breath includes the inhale and the exhale…without either one, there would be no wholeness of breath.
One of the greatest illusions we have is that of individuality. According to Dr. David Hawkins in his brilliant book, “Power vs. Force,” “the illusion of individuality is the origin of all suffering – when one realizes that one IS the universe, complete and at one with all that is, forever without end, then no further suffering is possible.”
The individual that is YOU has a very unique purpose. You must have the entire experience of being human, which includes time alone, to learn, recapitulate events, reflect, pray and experience the wholeness of your soul being incarnated into this beautiful human body. If you find yourself alone now, as I do, don’t allow yourself to give into the feelings of loneliness. You are far from alone. Each moment is as it is meant to be. Savor it for what it is and allow the feelings and the experience to take you to places of this human experience you have not known before. Learn from it, love it and above all, love yourself. You are the only one that will ever always be there for you. Others come and go…you stay. Be the best you that you can possibly be and use your alone time to sharpen the blade, oil the engine and give yourself a needed tune-up. Sleep, study, read, observe, pray, meditate, walk, experience the beauty of nature, reflect, work, don’t work, sing, dance, paint, sculpt, cry, laugh, run, take a bath, do absolutely nothing.
Whatever you do, as you find yourself alone, remember…one is a whole number.
(Thanks Nancy!)
“It’s my contention that the universe not only will, but must provide you with what you conceive of. So if you complain about what is missing from your life – you will be offered experiences that match that energy.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer
Love you,
Chris
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Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.
Purchase your copy of Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live by Christine Sopa
Let Go? Heck NO!!!
We all have experienced times in our lives where we have to “let go” of something or someone. Whether it is a loved one that has passed away or a job, a habit or even an old wound; letting go is not easy. Letting go requires courage, faith and believe it or not, love…but not the kind of love you would think.
The love I am referring to here is the kind of love that many of us have the hardest time with…self-love. In order to love yourself, you have to “let go” of those things in your life that are blocking you from feeling good about yourself. These things can be thought patterns, behaviors, people, or environments. You have heard me say before that everything is energy, including you. Those things that make you feel bad (or are zapping your energy) are things you more than likely need to let go. The Universe uses your feelings as a “flag system,” so to speak, to let you know if you are on the “right” path. If you are feeling good about something or someone, keep going…you are on the right path. If you are not feeling so good or that thing or person is taking a lot of your energy (or as I like to say, you are losing your power to that thing or person), it is time to let go.
Letting go can be challenging because your ego, up to this point, has convinced you that you NEED that person or thing for some reason…especially if it has been around for a long time. This is where the courage and faith part comes into the picture. You need to have the courage that something new and better will come along to replace the old and the faith in yourself and a higher power that you will be guided to those exact things you need to feel better and bring you all of the abundance you need.
We chatted a bit about money on Friday of last week. Please remember one thing…”money is not abundance, love is. Be the love and the money will come where it is needed.” (Justin Asar) Just as everything else what you need will come to you effortlessly if you allow it room to do so. Your emotions sit in what I like to refer to as a vessel. Your vessel holds all of the emotions you have ever felt in every circumstance in your life…good and bad. If we do not clean out our vessel every once and a while and “let go” of the old emotions that are weighing us down (such as anger, resentment, frustration, bitterness, etc.) we will have no room for new emotions and experiences to enter. We will stay stuck in our old feelings and old ways of doing things.
This coming week is centered around spiritual healing and hitting the “control-alt-delete” button of your soul. Clean house in your emotional vessel and let go of the old, out-dated feelings lingering there that no longer serve you. See the lesson and take that with you…leave the heavy experience behind…LET IT GO! Life is about learning lessons. We are offered experience after experience to give us a chance to learn what we came here to learn. Learn it and move on…there is more out there to experience. Allow yourself to take risks and be open to what life has to offer.
Emerald is your crystal this week. Wear an emerald or keep one by your bedside. She is the master healing crystal who will help you on your journey of healing and letting go. If you love dolphins (like I do!) and roses (like I do!), these energies will help with the letting go process as well. Hang pictures of dolphins around you, wear dolphin jewelry put some freshly cut roses in your house or better yet, buy some for someone you love.
Remember, healing is a spiritual act. It is love in motion. Love yourself enough to allow yourself to let go and heal. You are worth it!
Wearing my dolphin earrings today!
Chris
To learn more about Chris Sopa International, Inc. go to www.ChrisSopa.com.
