The Smithsonian recently published an article on “inattentional blindness,” or in other words selective attention.  The article was written based on an experimental minute and a half video asking viewers to count how many times a ball is caught by the individuals in white shirts (www.smithsonian.com/gorilla).  There is something amazing that over 50% of the viewers miss when watching the video.

The human mind is an amazing tool.  What we give our attention to dictates the reality we see in our world.  According to the Smithsonian, “we consciously see only a small subset of our visual world, and when our attention is focused on one thing, we fail to notice other, unexpected things around us, including those things we might want to see.”

I believe that every prayer is always answered and the reason many of us believe that they are not are for two reasons:  Number one, we are expecting it to show up in a certain way (the way we want it to) and when it does not show up how or when we want it, we assume it went unanswered.  Number two, our attention is focused on either the past or the future and never in the present.  We are “in our minds” most of the time.  When we give our energy (or attention) to reliving a past upset in our minds over and over again or worrying/stressing about an unknown future event, a miracle could pass right in front of our eyes and we will miss it.  It happens every day.  Trust me.

How many times in your life have you been so focused on one thing that a bomb can go off around you and you wouldn’t even notice?  How many times have you been so bent on being right that you fail to see (are blind to) other people’s point of view?  How many times have you been so focused on what is going wrong in your life that you miss the beautiful blessings that are in it?

This year has been a time of change for many of us.  I have noticed what I call a “black or white” effect; people are either doing the work they need to do on themselves and are experiencing joy and dreams coming true or people are not doing the work they need to do on themselves and are experiencing turmoil, upsets and loss.  There is not a middle ground anymore.  The difference between these two sets of people is where they are choosing to focus their attention.  Abundance or lack?  Giving or receiving?  Joy or sadness?  Where you focus your attention is a choice.  Are you choosing to focus your attention on what you have in your life or what is missing?

I just spent the last week on the East Coast after moving to Arizona in July.  I decided to move to Arizona because for over a year I felt a strong pull I cannot put into words to move.  I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to move but I did know it was out west somewhere.  Before I moved I experienced many synchronistic events that confirmed for me that I was making the right decision; such as the owner of the house I am renting in Arizona by chance being the neighbor of my assistant Ruth who lives in Pennsylvania.  It was very odd for me being on the East Coast again so soon after my move; I felt as if I was trying to fit into a life in which I no longer belonged.  Old friendships were not the same, places did not feel the same and I could not shake the feeling of “wanting to go home” the entire week.  I loved seeing my daughters but was haunted by old memories, sadness around changes in relationships and an overwhelming sense of joy for having the courage to follow my urgings to move.  I found myself having to pay attention to what I was choosing to focus on; the things in my life that are naturally coming to an end or the new and beautiful things that are coming into my life.

Change is scary sometimes; there is no doubt about that.  But one thing I have learned is that change is the only thing we can count on in life.  It is how you choose to view the changes that are occurring in your life that makes all of the difference.  Choose to have vision, not blindness.  Choose to be present-focused so you can see your answered prayers in the form of miracles showing up in your life daily.  Your life is a blessing; choose to believe it!

“The trick is what one emphasizes.  We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.  The amount of work is the same…” ~Carlos Castaneda

Where is your attention focused today?

Chris

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.

Dear Chris,

Before you head down there to your new life on Earth, I wanted to give you a heads up about a few things that will take place in the life you are about to be born into.  There are two versions, and whichever one you choose to give your attention to will be the one that is real for you.

Illusion:

You are born into a lower income family as the middle child and grow up in Cleveland, Ohio.  Your childhood is fairly uneventful, given you witnessed and experienced some not so wonderful things growing up which severely affect your self-esteem as an adult.

You will be bullied all through elementary school and middle school due to being smart and the “teacher’s pet” but end up “finding your own” in high school by burying yourself in your books and doing extremely well in school.  You go off to college, majoring in pre-medicine, only to end up pregnant in your senior year, unable to attend medical school.  You do finish your degree, graduate and get married the week after you graduate being 6 months pregnant.  You move to Columbus, Ohio with your new husband and proceed to have 2 daughters by the time you are 23 years old.  You enjoy being a stay-at-home Mom for a few years but somehow lose yourself in the middle of caring for everyone else and end up deathly ill by the age of 32.  You recover, start your own business and feel as if you are finally on your path, only to discover you are unhappy in your marriage and proceed to get divorced at age 38.

After your divorce, you date several men and come to find that your “radar” is broken and you seem to only attract angry, abusive men who lie, cheat and use you for either sex or money.  You then decide at age 42 to remain single for the rest of your life because it is not worth the pain of being used and hurt again.

You feel as if the only area of your life you are successful in is your business but seem to always be struggling with money due to the fact that you feel the need to “loan” everyone who is in need your money, time or sanity, leaving you with nothing left for yourself.  Your daughters grow up to be beautiful smart girls but very opposite.  Both end up doing great in school, with one going off to college and the other having to overcome a low self-esteem and addiction issue and becoming pregnant at a young age, leaving you feeling like you failed as a Mom somewhere down the road.

Due to an urge to move out west that will not seem to go away, you throw in the towel in 2012 and risk everything to move your life to Arizona.  You feel elated by this move only to return to your old home in Baltimore for a visit to continued chaos, friends who have changed and moved on and a heavy feeling of not belonging anywhere anymore.

Reality

Every event in the “Illusion” version of your life still occurs, except your perception is different.  You choose to believe that all of the events that happened to you in childhood and in your life happened for a reason.  You use those events that may have crippled someone else’s self-esteem, into events that build your own.  You see that both of your parents did the best that they could based on their situation and what happened to them in their own lives.

Although the events that occur from the ages of 8-38 are extremely difficult and trying, you pull up your boot straps and like a champ get through each one with your head held high, believing that as long as you keep moving forward and focusing on the good in life you will persevere in the end.  And even though you never end up going to medical school, you use every work and school experience you had to build an internationally successful speaking business which not only helps millions of people transform their own lives, but creates boundless abundance for yourself and family.

Your daughters end up wildly successful, following in your footsteps in using their God-given gifts and life experiences to help others persevere through challenging times in their lives.  And even though you may still feel as if your “radar” is broken with men, you continue through life confidently believing that your “knight in shining armor” is out there and one day will ride in on his white horse and be more than you ever dreamed.

You continue to live the rest of your life traveling the world with your base being in Arizona and one day realize that every event that happens in your life in the present is created by the thoughts that you allowed to race through your mind in the past.  You live the rest of your life choosing to question your thoughts, think of the things and events that make you feel good about yourself, protect your energy by being careful with whom and where you take yourself and you know deep down in your soul that when you get to the end of this movie called “Chris Sopa” that you will have no regrets and have lived the life you were born to live.

“We but mirror the world.  All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body.  If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.  As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change toward him.  This is the Divine mystery supreme.  A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness.  We need not wait to see what others do.“  ~Gandhi

Now THAT’S an awesome dream!!! 😉

Chris

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.

“Remember, we all get from the world what we bring to IT through the choices we make about who we are willing to be.  Our lives cannot move to higher ground until we do, and we elevate ourselves strategically by being responsible and using our own consciousness as a tool-of-cause and effect.  Has it ever occurred to you that when you engage in blaming someone or something that you are missing the opportunity to engage with your own creative powers differently?  Differently could mean, for example, an approach that allows you to equate your responsibility, not with blame, but with opportunity.  This week when you find yourself moving into blame, through the global headlines, or because of your own internal dialogue see if you can move into a premeditated approach and recognize that everyone has a story worth hearing.  And instead of climbing on the blame train, take on the big “R” (responsibility) and begin to create a new story instead of blaming the old one. ”
~Rev. Angela Peregoff’s Blog, May 17, 2012

Several years ago I took part in a 4 day workshop called “The Advanced Course” through Landmark Education.  One of the activities we had to do was to think of something that happened to us in our life that affected us in a negative way, write what happened (the story) and then share it with a partner.  The rub was that when we shared it with our partner, we had to read our story over and over again for 30 minutes!  After telling, and hearing, your story that many times in a row it began to sound ridiculous.  What this exercise did for us is it made the story null and void.  It made us realize it is just that…a story.

We all have stories.  Some are tragic; some are happy.  The experiences we have in our life shape our lives.  How they shape our lives is up to us.  We have an experience, our brain processes it, and then we add meaning to it.  It is that meaning we add to it that juices it up.  No matter what happens to us, it is always up to us how we interpret the event.  The main reason we have such a hard time forgiving is due to the meaning we have added behind the event.  “He did that because he mustn’t love me;” “I didn’t get that job because I am a loser;” “No one asks me out on a date because I am fat.”  I can go on and on.  You know what goes through your mind…I don’t have to tell you.

Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” (anyone who has coached with me has read this book!) made it simple:
1.    Don’t make assumptions.
2.    Do your best at all times.
3.    Be impeccable with your word.
4.    Don’t take things personal.

What these four agreements do is take the meaning out of your experiences.  They get you out of your head and into your heart.  Stop thinking so much!  You cannot believe everything you think because 80% of it is a lie…fabricated by your imagination and others who over your lifetime have planted ideas in your head based on their own “lies.”

Just for today, listen to the stories you tell yourself.  Write them down if you have to.  Identify what meaning you are adding to them and then ask yourself these two questions (if you know the work of Byron Katie these will sound familiar!),

Is this true?

Can I be absolutely certain that this is true?
Our reality is based on our perception.  Change your perception and your reality changes.  It is really that simple.  If you want to live “happily ever after” just make is so… ?

Your Cinderella in the Making,
Chris

Visit www.ChrisSopa.com with any questions about Chris Sopa International, Inc.