The alarm goes off; you crawl out of bed (hopefully take a shower) and begin your day.  The “hamster wheel of life” continues…bringing with it more to do with each moment.  Do you ever feel totally consumed with all there is to do?  I don’t know about you but to me it feels as if just when I seem to get caught up with my to-do list, more things get piled on.  It is as if there is an evil fairy cackling in the background saying, “You thought you were done…ha ha ha…just wait until you see this!”

Many have found themselves caught up in the web of life this summer…busy beyond belief and not knowing what to do first.  I know life can be overwhelming at times.  It is when life seems to be running us instead of us running our lives that we need to step back and take a look at two things:  our priorities and our why?

The only thing that is asked of us is to do our best every day.  What defines your best?  That depends.  Your best will vary depending on the circumstances you find yourself in and where your energy is that day.  Are you feeling sick vs. healthy?  Energized vs. fatigued?  Joyful vs. sad?  Sometimes universal energies are moving through and you just feel “off center” for a day.  However you feel learn to listen to your body and honor what it is telling you.  If you are tired, rest or take a break.  If you are at work and it is 2pm when you are at your lowest energy, do those things that take less energy, such as answering emails or filing.  Save the high energy tasks for the times of day you feel good.

Your best action is the answer to your productivity issues.  Doing your best at any given moment entails knowing how you feel in that moment.  Depending on how you feel, give the best you can in that moment with no judgment.  Any action is better than no action (and action sometimes includes taking a nap!).  If you keep a daily “to-do” list, prioritize that list.  Make the #1 thing on your list the most important thing you have to do that day, #2 the second most important thing you need to do that day, etc.  Start your day working on #1 and do not move to #2 until #1 is finished (if you are working on a project, allot a certain amount of time to work on #1, such as 2 hours instead of working until it is finished).  Even if the day ends and you have only finished #1, you can rest assured you at least finished the most important thing that day; your #1 priority.

Speaking of priorities, what are yours personally?  Family, career, money?  Take a moment to define them.  Balance, my friends, is not a 50/50 split of work and home time…balance is knowing what is important to you in your life right now (your priorities) and putting your energy toward those things on a regular basis.  The only time you feel “off” is when you know down deep that you are not putting your time and energy toward those things you feel are important.  There is no right or wrong answers when you list your priorities.  They are for you and you alone.

When my father was dying of cancer, he lived in Cleveland and I lived in Baltimore.  Upon finding out that his cancer was terminal, I made a choice.  I decided that I did not want him to pass away and say to myself, “I wish I would have…”  So, I made him and my family in Cleveland my priority.  I discussed with my husband at the time and my daughters that when grandpa needed me, I would need to go to Cleveland but I loved them very much and it would not be like this forever.  I also discussed with my clients that I had a family emergency happening at any time and I may need to call in a replacement speaker if I was not available.  I communicated to those whom I had responsibilities.  So, when I got a call that my father was in the hospital again, it took me 2 flat seconds to decide what to do.  I was in the car or on a plane pronto!

Knowing your priorities also makes decision making so much easier.  There is no more going back and forth between, “should I do this or that?”

All we are asked to do is our best.  Refrain from being so hard on yourself.  You judge yourself harder than anyone around you.  Please stop.  You are doing the best you can at this moment in your life, with what you know and where you are in your self/spiritual development.  There is no one watching you and comparing how you did today vs. yesterday.  Only you are doing that.  Be kind to yourself today, listen to what those inner nudges are telling you and just do what you know to be your best.  Who cares what others think…they are not you nor do they see with your eyes.  Love yourself today!

“Do not be concerned about the future; keep your attention on today, and stay in the present moment.  Just live one day at a time.  Always do your best.  Today is the beginning of a new dream!”
~Don Miguel Ruiz

(For more information of “doing your best,” pick up “The Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz).

Loving you for who you are today,

Chris

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.

“When a thought hurts, that is the signal that it isn’t true.” ~Byron Katie

Relationships have not always been my strong suite.  Relationships with men, that is.  Every other area of my life is amazing; my girls refer to me as “their best friend,” I have a career I absolutely love that takes me all over the world, I get the privilege in this lifetime to be a part of changing people’s lives for the good, I have plenty of money to meet my needs … I could go on and on.  Did all of this come easy to me?  No.  It took hard work and the willingness to take many risks, not knowing how each risk would turn out.

As I have learned over the years, the Universe has a funny way of putting right in your face the exact situations you need.  Whatever you need is always exactly what you get.  It’s true.  So, what did I get in regards to “relationships?”  The offer to be one of the authors in a book that will be out January of 2013 titled, “Breaking Free:  Overcoming Self-Sabotage,” published by an internationally renowned women’s network.  What did they ask me to write about?  You guessed it … relationships!

We teach what we most need to learn, so I took on the challenge.  For this entire week, I decided that I would focus on writing about different aspects of relationships.  We all have them.  We all have been hurt by them.  We all cherish them.  We all want them, whether we want to admit it or not.  The main advantage to being human is our capacity to love and be loved.  Will you allow love, is the question?  Why wouldn’t you allow it?   Not allowing yourself to forgive.

Forgiveness is a tricky thing. It is something we know we must do to finally let go so we can move on; yet, we hold on to hurt and blame because it somehow gives us a satisfaction we cannot explain.  We scream to our selves inside, “I don’t wanna!” like a child because for some reason we like to sit in the pain of reliving a painful circumstance and holding onto anger over and over again.  The joys of being human!

Remember that how we treat others is merely a reflection of how we treat ourselves. If you have a hard time letting go of mistakes you have made, more than likely you have a hard time letting go of mistakes others have made as well. The only way to really find peace is to let the past be the past. Keep it where it belongs.

In regards to forgiving others, Louise Hay, I think, states it the best:

“We are the ones who suffer when we hold on to past grievances. We give the situations and the people in our past power over us, and the same situations and people keep us mentally enslaved. They continue to control us when we stay stuck in “unforgiveness.” This is why forgiveness work is so important. Forgiveness – letting go of the ones who hurt us – is letting go of our identity as the one who was hurt. It allows us to be set free from the needless cycle of pain, anger, and recrimination that keep us imprisoned in our own suffering. What we forgive is not the act, but the actors – we are forgiving their suffering, confusion, unskillfullness, desperation and their humanity. As we get the feelings out and let them go, we can then move on. Remember that all of the events that take place in our lives and all of the individuals we encounter teach us valuable lessons.”

Forgiveness is a soul choice and centers in your heart. It is not a logical, mental process.  It has nothing to do with whether or not you choose to have that person stay in your life or not. You can forgive someone and choose to not have them in your life anymore or choose to have them stay … it is up to you.  Every choice you make must be for your own peace.  Never sacrifice your inner peace for someone else.  Forgiveness is an act of self-love and healing.  The reason for forgiving someone is not so much because you feel they deserve to be forgiven, but because you love yourself enough to not want to suffer anymore when you think about the person or the event. We learn to suffer just to punish whoever abused us and, in the end, we are the only ones who are hurt.

Never forget that each of us is on our own journey. We choose to play roles for each other to give each other an opportunity to learn the life lessons we came here to learn. Thank the people who have hurt you for playing their roles so well. If it wasn’t for those who have hurt us the most, we would not be the people we are today.

Start with forgiving yourself for anything you feel you have or haven’t done in the past in regards to relationships.  Do what I do.  Look in the mirror and kiss your own hand and say over and over again, “Its ok.  No worries.  You are so wonderful!”  Ok, so maybe that only works for me, but regardless, give yourself a break today.  Stop waiting for the other person to forgive you.  There is nothing outside of you that can give you what you are looking for.  The answers and peace you seek are one place and one place only … inside of YOU!

“Once we have forgiven ourselves for something, it is easier to forgive others for the same mistake.”   ~Marianne Williamson

I wanna, I wanna!

Chris

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.