If you always listen to the advice of others and ignore yourself, you will be living their life, not yours.“  ~Chris Sopa

Change is scary.  We are not scared of the change itself, we are scared of the unknown around the change.  For some reason we seem to think that if we can figure out the how that we will be guaranteed a successful outcome.  Hmmm…I can think of several things that happened to me in my life where I had all of the details controlled and it still did not work out the way I would have liked.  “Knowing” does not necessarily constitute success.

I am an N.C.I.S. junkie…I’ll admit it.  It is nothing for me to sit and watch five or six episodes in a row.  If you find yourself at a crossroads, feeling the need to make a major life change, follow my N.C.I.S. rules:

N = Nurture (Rule #12) – Spend some time nurturing yourself – some quiet time, where you can really sit and not just think, but feel what is coming up for you.  How do you feel when you think of the change you want to make?  There is a difference between fear of the unknown and fear because something is not good for you.  You know the difference.

C = Consciousness (Rule #18)  - Self-awareness, or in other words,  consciousness around yourself, your habits, your patterns of behavior, etc. is the number one key to making any changes in your life.  You must be aware of yourself enough to be able to read what your physical, emotional and spiritual bodies are trying to tell you.

I = Intuition (Rule #40) – Intuition is not just a gift for the “gifted,” it is something we all have.  Those gut feelings that guide you in the right direction every time is the physical manifestation of guidance from above.  Practice trusting your gut.  It leads you in the right direction every time and the more you trust it, the more information it gives you.

S = Sacredness (Rule #25) – The term sacred does not necessarily have to mean something religious.  Something is sacred if you make it sacred.  Washing the dishes can be sacred if you say so.  Make your life a sacred journey.  Is what you are doing right now something that brings you joy?  Would you consider it sacred?  If not, maybe it’s time for a change?

Regardless of what you choose, you will never go wrong at the end of the day if the choice is yours.  Whether it works out or not, it ends up how it was meant to be.  The Universe is a kind place.  Nothing happens that is not meant for the ultimate good.

Think and feel for yourself…in the end, all that matters is you lived the life YOU chose to live.

Following Rule #1,


Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .


Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live:  How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” by Chris Sopa published by Balboa Press

Click here to purchase your copy!

YOU Are the One You Have Been Waiting For

When I was a little girl, if I did something good, I got rewarded; if I did something bad, I was punished.  This is typical parenting of a young child to teach them right from wrong.  No harm done…or is there?

I find two extreme things that went wrong in our minds when this happened.  (Let me clarify that I am NOT saying we should not discipline our children here…I am just trying to prove a point.)

  1. Problem number one is that this behavior taught us that we got what we wanted in life only if we behaved well.  If I am a “good girl” I will get what I want, right?

What shows up in our lives as manifestations are not rewards for good behavior-manifestations are simply the effects of our thoughts and feelings; but we are taught the contrary.  We are taught that if we do something good, we will get something good and if we do something bad, something we want (or something that we define as “good”) will be withheld from us.  So, when we want something with all of our hearts and it doesn’t show up we immediately assume we must have done something “wrong.”  We must have been bad.  God is now punishing us for our “bad” behavior by not allowing us to have this thing we want.  Fire and brimstone here we come!

Now let me clarify that I am not saying to go out today and nickname yourself “Hell on Wheels” and paint the town red.  What you put out you get back.  Garbage in, garbage out.  But what is showing up in your life is a direct result of how you are thinking and what you are feeling…nothing else!  Like attracts like-it is the simple law of attraction.

  1. Problem number two is that everyone has a different definition of “good” and “bad.”  In American culture we are taught it is good to look someone who is an elder or of important status in the eye.  In the Zulu culture in South Africa, to look an elder or someone of status in the eye is disrespectful…it is bad.  Same action, two different perceptions.  How is one to know what is good or bad?  How about if you do something that is totally unique (yes, I am being glib here!)…define it for yourself.  What makes you feel good (what feels right)?  What is the best thing to say or do in this particular situation that will benefit everyone involved and not just yourself?

Your life is like a movie script.  You write it moment by moment.  You can design for yourself whatever you choose:  abundance, the perfect soul mate, the perfect job-you name it!  But, you constantly are limiting yourself to what you can create in your life by allowing fear to dictate your choices day in and day out.  YOU are the only one that is getting in your way!

Spend some time today and this week watching your focus.  Where are you beating yourself up?  Are you taking responsibility for what is showing up in your life or are you blaming someone else (or blaming God)?

This coming week has a focus on relationships; relationships with others but more importantly the relationship you have with yourself.  Are you constantly compromising your personal power for the sake of someone else?  Are there people or situations in your life that are no longer serving you?  Is it time to “clean house?”

Every relationship is a balance of power.  There is giving and receiving that occurs and if the scale is tipped ever so slightly in one direction, the relationship is not balanced and it is felt by both parties.

Take an inventory, an honest one, of the relationships you currently have in your life?  Are they balanced?

The only person who can change the relationships you are in is you.  YOU are the one you have been waiting for…you are your “knight in shining armor.”  Swoop in and save the day!  Have faith in yourself and in your Divine plan.  You knew what you were doing when you made it up in the heavens…trust me.

“Man is a magnet, and every line and dot and detail of his experiences come by his own attraction.”  ~Elizabeth Towne 

Da,da,da…da,da,da…da, da, da, da ,da (That is supposed to be a horse galloping…in case you were wondering.) 😉


Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .