My 2012 Lessons

Our lives are a creation process.  We create our life choice by choice.  The lives we each are living are a “school” of sorts.  We make a choice, have an expereince and then learn something, either from that experience or from the person involved in that experience with us.

Here is what I learned in 2012:

*  A stranger can change your life for the good.
*  You cannot trust everyone…some people simply do not have good intentions.
*  Always, always, always trust your gut!
*  Not everyone you meet is meant to stay in your life forever.  As the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason or a season…very rarely a lifetime.
*  I will never do a liver flush again in my life!
*  The syncronistic events in our lives remind us that we are not alone and always watched over.
*  When I get out of my own way, my life happens beautifully all on its own.
*  Family is everything!
*  Never lose hope that someone will make a different choice and change their life for the better.
*  People sometimes disappoint you.  The key is to never disappoint yourself.
*  Not everyone agrees with the choices you make –  they don’t have to.
*  Do not move to Arizona in July when it is 112 degrees!
*  Never give up on your dreams…they do come true if you hang in there.
*  Everything, and I mean everything, happens for a reason.  Trust God knows what he is doing.
*  No matter how much you care, some people just don’t care back.
*  It’s never too late to get your PhD.
*  You cannot control everything, no matter how hard you try.
*  We miss a lot of moments in our lives by not being present.
*  No matter how bad your heart is broken, the sun still comes out tomorrow.
*  I am loved.

Have a blessed and abundant 2013.




Choosing the Life You Were Born To Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” by Chris Sopa published by Balboa Press.

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Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at Find her at, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .

The Purpose of Pain

Until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing, you will stay the same.”

The pain was unbearable.  It didn’t seem to matter which way I moved to try to get some relief, it persisted and was gut wrenching.  I had it for going on 5 days and no one knew what was wrong with me.  Lower left abdomen pain that sent a burning sensation down my left leg could not be diagnosed with any of the fancy equipment hospitals have at their disposal.  A laparoscopy from my GYN was the only answer.  “I have to get in there and see what is going on” was all she said.  A burst ovarian cyst and a bad ovary was the presumed diagnosis so she was ready to remove my ovary if needed.  But my body had a different plan.  Once the scope found the source of the pain it was as if my body had played a cruel joke on everyone.   Situs inversus, a congenital condition in which the major visceral organs are reversed, was the culprit, placing my appendix on the left side of my body.  An already septic and leaking appendix was removed and my pain was gone.

My appendix was the first thing that popped into my mind when I first started having pain, but my brain talked me out of that answer.  Your appendix is on the right side of your body, not the left so why would it be my appendix?  Things aren’t always what they seem.

Physical pain has a purpose.  It points us to a part of our body that needs healing.  The pain tells us that it needs attention.  Something needs to be changed to bring our body back into balance.  Emotional pain has the same purpose.  The pain we feel, which can come in the form of resistance, defensiveness, anger, sadness, etc., points to a place that needs our attention; that needs healing.  Sometimes the place in which the pain points is the only the door that leads you to where the real pain finds its true home.

Yesterday’s blog on what men should know about women brought up  pain for some people.  Although written in tongue and cheek on purpose, it may have brought up some emotions.  Where did you get angry, defensive or upset?  Which one brought up “pain” in you?  Agreeing with the list was not the purpose.  We all have a different “list” and want different things based on our experiences.  The purpose was to get you thinking about your list.  What do you want in a mate?  What pain do you have around relationships that may still need some healing so you can have a beautiful relationship with someone?

Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason: every person you meet, every painful event, every happy event, everything! Everything you experience is a chance for you to get closer to God—a chance to learn something new about yourself and how you function in the world around you. Learn to see pain as a blessing – a red flag showing you where you need to change or release something you no longer need in your life. Engage the lessons life is trying to teach you. Look at your life … where is the pain and what is it asking you to look at or change?

The most beautiful part of pain is that when you learn your lesson, the pain goes away. The worst part is that if you choose not to learn the lesson when the pain arrives, it will come back. And because you did not listen or may not have been ready the first time, the pain increases each go around … and keeps increasing until you finally learn the lesson. How else can your attention be grabbed if not through pain? Think about the greatest lessons you have learned in your life so far—the ones that have stuck with you and changed you forever. I’m willing to bet you suffered some kind of pain to learn that lesson so hard.

The best way to deal with pain is when it comes up to let it come up, terror and all.  Take a breath, close your eyes and allow yourself to feel what is coming up with no judgments.  You are safe.  Nothing can hurt you.  Your mind plays tricks on you because your lower self does not want you to evolve.  It wants you to stay small.  Your higher self knows better.  It is the one calling the pain up to be released so you can be free.  Talk to a trusted friend, do something that makes you feel good, and let it go.

Surrender to what is. Be where you are in mind, body and spirit and say yes to life—pain and all!  Then, life will work for you and not against you. It is always much easier to go with the flow of energy than against it. Remember, no matter how bad life seems today, we always get a second chance tomorrow.

“Sometimes it is that which shatters us that liberates us.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Peeling back the layers of pain,


Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at Find her at, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .

What If You Could Have a “Do Over?”

Life is like a racetrack.  It’s the curves that make it worthwhile.
~Regina Brett, God Never Blinks

I recently sat down and took an inventory of my life.  I figured I’m going to have a birthday in a couple of weeks, why not have a “check point,” kind of like the race car drivers do.  I thought about all of the things I have done, all of the people I have met and all of my accomplishments up until now.  I can truly say if age 42 was my last year here on Earth, I did a pretty good job of squeezing as much life out of my time here as possible.

There is one area though where I feel I haven’t gotten all A’s; my romantic life.  From the very beginning, I have felt as if my radar was broken.  It’s not that I haven’t had some nice guys in my past (my ex husband is actually one of the best -  he is truly a gem and I divorced him – see what I mean, broken radar!) but the majority of them have caused me a tremendous amount of pain.  I believe that what we focus on is what we create.  If this is the case, constantly focusing on my “broken radar” is just going to attract me more of the same.  So, I decided to give myself a “do-over.”  I decided to re-write my story.  The only reality I can cling to in regards to any of my past relationships is my perception of them and as you know, our perception is our reality.  I chose to change my perception, hence change my reality.

I sat down, pen and paper in hand, and wrote down the name of every man I ever dated from high school until now; one night stands and all.  (close your mouth!) I also wrote down any man that has been in my life whom I felt has had an impact on me in some way, my Dad, any uncles, etc.   I then wrote down next to each persons name every lesson I felt I had learned from my experience with him.  My lessons ranged from realizing I want a man to be loyal to me and ONLY me all the way to understanding once and for all that I am ME and someone either likes me for me unconditionally or they can take a hike!  If they are intimidated by my success, hit the road!  The interesting part was the men who caused me the most pain were the ones I learned the most from.  Those who cause us the most pain are inevitably our greatest teachers.

I now know that there is purpose and meaning behind every event.  There is a Divine reason for every choice you make, whether it is to be with someone or to leave.  We never know the reason at the time, but I have learned to never surrender until I know why I began the journey in the first place. I look for the lesson in everything.  If we don’t, it will come back around at some point, stakes higher each time, until we learn it.   Learn to look at life not so literally but more symbolically; from what I like to call the 10,000 foot view.  From the nosebleed seats you can often see what you cannot see when your nose is on the ground.

By giving myself a “do-over” and re-writing my stories, I now can think of the men in my life with gratitude rather than with bitterness, pain and anger.  I have changed my vibration to match that which I would like to attract.  If you hold the vibration of anger, you will attract angry people.  If you hold the vibration of victim, you will attract situations that make you the victim, every time.

What area of your life do you want a do-over?  Re-write your story.  Make it a fairy tale.  One you can look back on and know happened for your highest good.  Your problems are not problems, they are blessings in disguise.  How else do you think God is going to get you to see your greatness?

Life is a series of problems:  Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.  The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.  God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
~Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Wondering where “my man” is now,


Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at Find her at, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .