Are You a Fixer

My name is Chris and I am a “fixer.”

I am attracted to people who have problems and think that if I only make them happy, do something different, change myself or sacrifice my time or resources they will change and be happy.  Somewhere in my life I felt as if it was my responsibility to make others happy and worse yet, if they were not happy, it was my fault.

Can anyone out there relate to that?

I think many of you can…especially the women out there.  Not that men cannot be fixers, but women have a natural tendency to nurture and make people feel better therefore this role of “fixer” tends to stick more with the female gender.

Here is what I have learned (and trust me, I have a lot more learning to do in this area):

So, what to do?  How do you overcome the urge to fix?  Be aware of the fact that the urge to fix is an urge to control something that is out of your control.  You cannot control other people’s behaviors or decisions.  The only things under your control are the decisions you make for yourself, your behaviors and your attitudes.  Your behaviors and who you choose to be is always the greatest teacher for those around you.  People listen more with their eyes than their ears.  They watch you.  It is our nature.  Monkey see, monkey do…remember?

A recovering fixer,

Chris

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .