“Your enemy reflects back to you everything that you do not like about yourself. He shows you exactly where your fears and insecurities lie. If you listen to what your enemy is saying to you, you will know exactly where you must make corrections in yourself. Only one who opposes you thus can be such an effective teacher.”
~Paul Ferrini, “Love Without Conditions”
Admit it…we all have someone who makes our blood boil. Maybe you have more than one. Mine usually come in the form of ex-romantic significant others. Did you ever wonder why these people exist in your life? I don’t mean “on the face of the earth exist” (I know that was where you were going…wishing they had never been born! Lol!) but why are they showing up in your life in what you perceive to be a difficult form? Do you think God is just playing a mean trick on you, purposely trying to make your life miserable? Don’t laugh, some people really do run the victim mentality of “God is out to get me.” I personally would think God has better things to do, but it is a question that begs to be answered.
Anytime we are faced with someone in our lives who disagrees with us, makes us uncomfortable in some form or simply does something to us we do not like, we are being asked to look deeper. These situations do not arise simply because “that is life.” These situations arise because there is a lesson to be learned by both parties. A lesson, more than likely, that cannot be taught by anyone else but someone who annoys you to the core.
Those who hurt you the most are your greatest teachers. How can that be? Ask yourself this question: How have you learned your most valuable lessons, through pain or joy? Most people have learned the lessons that stick with them the most through some kind of pain in their life. The Universe uses pain because it is by far the best way to get our attention. We do not like to be in pain. It hurts. We will do anything to not be in pain…even give up and give in and finally change. Until the pain of where you are is greater than the fear of changing, you will stay where you are. Those individuals that you call your “enemies” that have wronged you and hurt you so bad that you use words like hate, can’t stand and despise when their names come up in conversation, are the ones who are teaching you the most about yourself. They are the mirror to your own soul. They are reflecting back to you the exact things that are inside of you that need to be seen, released and healed once and for all.
Name anyone in your life right now, enemy or friend, and they are in your life, at this moment, for a reason. They are here to teach you something you need to learn about yourself. What feeling comes up when you are with this person? Where does the feeling show up in your body? Does it trigger any other past memories from your childhood or past? Are there any patterns you can identify around how this person makes you feel and how anyone else in your life makes you feel? Is your pain with these “enemies” in your life always work-related or personal? It is ultimately your choice if you learn the lesson they were brought to teach you. If you chose to not learn it, trust me when I tell you, another person and opportunity will come around shortly to teach you the same lesson, only this time the pain will be greater. The pain will continue to get greater until you learn to let go.
Just because “a teacher” is showing up in the form of someone you do not like does not mean you need to allow them to treat you poorly. Trust me; I have given many the boot that have crossed a personal boundary for me…sometimes after it has gone too far. The key is to be very self-aware of your feelings and be vigilant with your personal boundaries. Nothing is as important as honoring yourself. Look at the relationship and situation and ask yourself, “What is this person or situation trying to show or teach me?” and then take the steps needed to release your feelings, do what is needed, and move on.
You will always have challenges in your life. People and situations will challenge you constantly and that is a good thing. When you are being challenged you are growing and learning and becoming a better human being. We are spirits having a human experience…let’s show the heavens that we can do it right!
“If you work hard on your job, you make a living. If you work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune.”
~Jim Rohn
Loving my “teachers” in whatever form they show up,
Chris
Purchase your copy of Chris Sopa’s new book, “Choosing the Life You Were Born to Live: How Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life” published by Balboa Press.
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.