“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it is not fixable, then there is no help in worrying.”
Worry = a state of anxiety over actual or potential problems.
I will admit it…I am a recovering worry wart. Yes, it is true. I used to have worrying down to a science. I would worry going to bed, worry in my dreams and be worried waking up. Worrying is like any other habit that we have – the more we engage in it the more we do it without thinking. Half the time when I was worrying, I didn’t even really know what I was worrying about. Then, if there was nothing obvious to worry about, I would make something up.
As humans, our learning habits are formed when we are little. Whatever the dominant environment was in your household when you were growing up is the environment in which you learned to function. I love my mother dearly, but she will be the first one to tell you that she loves to worry. I grew up in a household where the dominant environment was chaos. There was always a crisis…even if it was an imaginary one. As I grew older, because that was the only environment in which I knew how to function, that is the environment I created. And worrying was my tool. Even if something is painful to us, as humans, we prefer comfort. Whatever is in our comfort zone is what we choose.
Regardless of what environment you prefer, we all find ourselves worrying at some point in our lives. Here are some things to remember when you find yourself worrying:
Gratefully I let go and let God be God as me…
Have a worry-free weekend…you can do it!
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.Do Your Best…Just For Today
The alarm goes off; you crawl out of bed (hopefully take a shower) and begin your day. The “hamster wheel of life” continues…bringing with it more to do with each moment. Do you ever feel totally consumed with all there is to do? I don’t know about you but to me it feels as if just when I seem to get caught up with my to-do list, more things get piled on. It is as if there is an evil fairy cackling in the background saying, “You thought you were done…ha ha ha…just wait until you see this!”
Many have found themselves caught up in the web of life this summer…busy beyond belief and not knowing what to do first. I know life can be overwhelming at times. It is when life seems to be running us instead of us running our lives that we need to step back and take a look at two things: our priorities and our why?
The only thing that is asked of us is to do our best every day. What defines your best? That depends. Your best will vary depending on the circumstances you find yourself in and where your energy is that day. Are you feeling sick vs. healthy? Energized vs. fatigued? Joyful vs. sad? Sometimes universal energies are moving through and you just feel “off center” for a day. However you feel learn to listen to your body and honor what it is telling you. If you are tired, rest or take a break. If you are at work and it is 2pm when you are at your lowest energy, do those things that take less energy, such as answering emails or filing. Save the high energy tasks for the times of day you feel good.
Your best action is the answer to your productivity issues. Doing your best at any given moment entails knowing how you feel in that moment. Depending on how you feel, give the best you can in that moment with no judgment. Any action is better than no action (and action sometimes includes taking a nap!). If you keep a daily “to-do” list, prioritize that list. Make the #1 thing on your list the most important thing you have to do that day, #2 the second most important thing you need to do that day, etc. Start your day working on #1 and do not move to #2 until #1 is finished (if you are working on a project, allot a certain amount of time to work on #1, such as 2 hours instead of working until it is finished). Even if the day ends and you have only finished #1, you can rest assured you at least finished the most important thing that day; your #1 priority.
Speaking of priorities, what are yours personally? Family, career, money? Take a moment to define them. Balance, my friends, is not a 50/50 split of work and home time…balance is knowing what is important to you in your life right now (your priorities) and putting your energy toward those things on a regular basis. The only time you feel “off” is when you know down deep that you are not putting your time and energy toward those things you feel are important. There is no right or wrong answers when you list your priorities. They are for you and you alone.
When my father was dying of cancer, he lived in Cleveland and I lived in Baltimore. Upon finding out that his cancer was terminal, I made a choice. I decided that I did not want him to pass away and say to myself, “I wish I would have…” So, I made him and my family in Cleveland my priority. I discussed with my husband at the time and my daughters that when grandpa needed me, I would need to go to Cleveland but I loved them very much and it would not be like this forever. I also discussed with my clients that I had a family emergency happening at any time and I may need to call in a replacement speaker if I was not available. I communicated to those whom I had responsibilities. So, when I got a call that my father was in the hospital again, it took me 2 flat seconds to decide what to do. I was in the car or on a plane pronto!
Knowing your priorities also makes decision making so much easier. There is no more going back and forth between, “should I do this or that?”
All we are asked to do is our best. Refrain from being so hard on yourself. You judge yourself harder than anyone around you. Please stop. You are doing the best you can at this moment in your life, with what you know and where you are in your self/spiritual development. There is no one watching you and comparing how you did today vs. yesterday. Only you are doing that. Be kind to yourself today, listen to what those inner nudges are telling you and just do what you know to be your best. Who cares what others think…they are not you nor do they see with your eyes. Love yourself today!
“Do not be concerned about the future; keep your attention on today, and stay in the present moment. Just live one day at a time. Always do your best. Today is the beginning of a new dream!”
~Don Miguel Ruiz
(For more information of “doing your best,” pick up “The Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz).
Loving you for who you are today,
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.How “Green” is Your Internal Environment?
“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us“. ~Stephen Covey
When I was 7 years old my friend Tracie and I decided to play “barber shop” in my garage. Tracie had long blonde hair down to her hips of which her mother doted and was very proud. As we took turns sitting in the barber chair pretending to cut each other’s hair, I had a brilliant idea…what if I really cut Tracie’s hair; her mother loved it and then used me to cut Tracie’s hair from now on! (Give me a break, I was 7 years old!) So, I ran in the house, got a pair of scissors and cut away. I mean CUT away…when I was done Tracie’s hair was shorter than Liza Minnelli’s on a bad hair day!
Needless to say, her mother hated it, screamed at me and I was scarred for life! This one incident led me to develop a complex for being an extreme perfectionist on top of being terrified of displeasing somebody for fear they would yell at me. Whenever we have a heart wrenching experience, it sets up our conditioning in a way that (if we allow) changes our behaviors when a similar experience occurs in the future. I obviously did not go into Cosmetology after that experience, but I did allow other people and events from then on to affect my choices. Due to the fear of being yelled at, not liked and shamed for not being “perfect,” I began to make my life choices based on what I thought other people expected of me. What’s funny about this habit is that how do you ever really know what someone else is thinking and what they expect of you? You don’t!
Don Miguel Ruiz has a wonderful little book entitled, “The Four Agreements.” The four agreements are simply:
The hardest one of these agreements, in my opinion, is not taking things personally. When you can finally realize that we each interpret an experience based on our own conditioning and perspective, then we can finally understand that it is ok to make decisions without external input. What we choose in the moment of the experience is ok, regardless of if anyone else agrees.
We hear constantly about greening the environment; adding solar panels on your house to all natural materials to make every item in your house is the green way to do things. I say we all green our internal environment. Take an inventory of the toxic items and garbage in that brain of yours, get rid of the hazards and create your internal environment to be one that is protected from external toxins; mainly, what other people think. Why do you value what someone else thinks so much over your own thoughts? What makes their thoughts better than yours? Just because their external environment looks green, does not mean they are internally green. Ask any coach…we hear and see it all day long! We are all great actors.
Refuse to let anyone talk you out of your own feelings.
Refuse to be reduced to someone else’s opinion of you.
And know in this moment and every moment going forward that you are worthy of being loved unconditionally…no matter what the external environment is telling you.
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+