YOU Are the One You Have Been Waiting For

When I was a little girl, if I did something good, I got rewarded; if I did something bad, I was punished.  This is typical parenting of a young child to teach them right from wrong.  No harm done…or is there?

I find two extreme things that went wrong in our minds when this happened.  (Let me clarify that I am NOT saying we should not discipline our children here…I am just trying to prove a point.)

  1. Problem number one is that this behavior taught us that we got what we wanted in life only if we behaved well.  If I am a “good girl” I will get what I want, right?

What shows up in our lives as manifestations are not rewards for good behavior-manifestations are simply the effects of our thoughts and feelings; but we are taught the contrary.  We are taught that if we do something good, we will get something good and if we do something bad, something we want (or something that we define as “good”) will be withheld from us.  So, when we want something with all of our hearts and it doesn’t show up we immediately assume we must have done something “wrong.”  We must have been bad.  God is now punishing us for our “bad” behavior by not allowing us to have this thing we want.  Fire and brimstone here we come!

Now let me clarify that I am not saying to go out today and nickname yourself “Hell on Wheels” and paint the town red.  What you put out you get back.  Garbage in, garbage out.  But what is showing up in your life is a direct result of how you are thinking and what you are feeling…nothing else!  Like attracts like-it is the simple law of attraction.

  1. Problem number two is that everyone has a different definition of “good” and “bad.”  In American culture we are taught it is good to look someone who is an elder or of important status in the eye.  In the Zulu culture in South Africa, to look an elder or someone of status in the eye is disrespectful…it is bad.  Same action, two different perceptions.  How is one to know what is good or bad?  How about if you do something that is totally unique (yes, I am being glib here!)…define it for yourself.  What makes you feel good (what feels right)?  What is the best thing to say or do in this particular situation that will benefit everyone involved and not just yourself?

Your life is like a movie script.  You write it moment by moment.  You can design for yourself whatever you choose:  abundance, the perfect soul mate, the perfect job-you name it!  But, you constantly are limiting yourself to what you can create in your life by allowing fear to dictate your choices day in and day out.  YOU are the only one that is getting in your way!

Spend some time today and this week watching your focus.  Where are you beating yourself up?  Are you taking responsibility for what is showing up in your life or are you blaming someone else (or blaming God)?

This coming week has a focus on relationships; relationships with others but more importantly the relationship you have with yourself.  Are you constantly compromising your personal power for the sake of someone else?  Are there people or situations in your life that are no longer serving you?  Is it time to “clean house?”

Every relationship is a balance of power.  There is giving and receiving that occurs and if the scale is tipped ever so slightly in one direction, the relationship is not balanced and it is felt by both parties.

Take an inventory, an honest one, of the relationships you currently have in your life?  Are they balanced?

The only person who can change the relationships you are in is you.  YOU are the one you have been waiting for…you are your “knight in shining armor.”  Swoop in and save the day!  Have faith in yourself and in your Divine plan.  You knew what you were doing when you made it up in the heavens…trust me.

“Man is a magnet, and every line and dot and detail of his experiences come by his own attraction.”  ~Elizabeth Towne 

Da,da,da…da,da,da…da, da, da, da ,da (That is supposed to be a horse galloping…in case you were wondering.) 😉


Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at Find her at, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .

Do You Know Where You Are?

You cannot get to where you want to go until you know where you are starting from.

If I got in my car and wanted to drive to “Destination B” I would need to know two things; where do I want to end up and where am I starting from.  I cannot get in my car and say, “Hey, let’s drive to Boston” and get there if I do not know where I am starting my journey.  How would I know whether I need to drive, fly or take a boat?  How would I know if there were going to be any detours along the way?  How would I know how long it would take to get there?

Many people can tell you at least vaguely at least one goal they would like to achieve in their lives.  Many set these goals and never achieve them.  Why?  They have failed to do two things:  clearly define exactly what it is they want and clearly define where they are starting from.  If I have a goal to be a New York Times bestselling author (which I do!), the first thing you might say I need to do to start on that goal would be to write a book (duh!), but you need to start even more basic than that.  I would need to look at my writing skills first and where I may need to brush up to make them better.  I need to do my research and study other authors who have made it to the New York Times list and see what they have done.  And most importantly, I would need to take a look deep within myself and define why do I want this goal?  If it is so important to me, why haven’t I achieved it yet?  (And you are not allowed to blame others for the answer to that one – leave the victim mentality at the door!)  The only reason you have not achieved what you want in life is because of one person…YOU!  Yes, there are outside circumstances that need to be in alignment for a dream to manifest, but have you been present to notice the opportunities when they arrive?  Have you “given up” in your head by procrastinating and making excuses not to do what you need to do?  Is F.E.A.R. stopping you?  Is low self-esteem getting in your way – do you feel “unworthy” of that level of success?

Sit down with a pen and paper and answer the following questions twice.  In the first round, answer the question after thinking about it for a minute…using your conscious part of your brain.  In the second round, answer each question with the very first thing that comes to your mind…use your intuition.  (This exercise works best if you answer the first set of questions, take a small break, then come back and answer the second set of questions.)

  1. What do you most need right now?
  2. What do you most want right now?
  3. What is your deepest fear?
  4. What is your biggest dream?
  5. What do you need to be happy?
  6. What is your greatest strength?
  7. What is your biggest obstacle?
  8. In what area are you your own worst enemy?
  9. What is the most satisfying part of your life?
  10. What is missing in your life?
  11. Where would you like to see the most change in the next year?
  12. What is your life purpose?

Do you see any patterns in the answers?  If so, there is your first clue as to where you may need to do some work on yourself.  When my coaching clients do this exercise, it always points to those places that are blocking them from living the life they want to live…these things are blocking them from achieving their goals.

Take one of the patterns you see, let’s say it is a fear of failure, and question your thinking?  Write down the answers to these questions.  What are you afraid of exactly?  Can you be absolutely certain that thought is true?  How do you feel when you think that thought?  Who would you be, how would you feel and what would you do without that thought?  Now create a different thought that makes you feel good (a thought in alignment with what you want) and whenever you catch yourself thinking the old thought, clear, cancel, delete and say the new thought to yourself.  Re-frame your thinking!

Thoughts are a choice my friends.  If a thought isn’t making you feel good, change it.  Every thought leads to a feeling and every feeling leads to an action/behavior.  If you want to change your behaviors you have to change your thoughts…that simple.

Don’t separate life from living.  Your life lies underneath your life situation at the moment.  You ARE living it!  This IS your life!  It is perfect just the way it is.  If you don’t have something in your life right now that you want, all that means is you probably don’t really need it right now.  If you needed it, it would be here.  The Universe is a kind place and there is a Divine order in everything that occurs.  Trust it!  Make life the best one you can…this is not a dress rehearsal.  😉

God is the lead dancer and the soul is the partner
completely attuned to the rhythm and patterns set by the partner. She does not lead, but neither does she hang limp like a sack of potatoes.
~Thomas Merton quoted in Listening to the Music of the Spirit by David Lonsdale

Hang in there,


Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at Find her at, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .