“Oh, God, help me! And I walked faster, my thoughts pursuing me, and I began to run, my frozen shoes squealing like mice, but running didn’t help the thoughts to the left and right and behind me. But as I ran, The Arm, that good left arm, took hold of the situation and spoke soothingly: ease up, Kid, it’s loneliness, you’re all alone in the world; your father, your mother, your faith, they can’t help you, nobody helps anybody, you only help yourself, and that’s why I’m here, because we are inseparable, and we’ll take care of everything.“
~ John Fante,
Running doesn’t help. Sleeping, drugs or alcohol only create an illusion to make it go away for a little while. No matter where you go or what you do, you can never get away from it. You are always there. How many times have you said, “I just need to get away!” and you do…only to find out when you get to that “get away” place, nothing has changed but the scenery.
I don’t know about you, but lately my life has felt as if I am in the middle of a huge haboob (the word us Arizonians use for a dust storm)! When I look in the mirror I see the same ole’ (notice I said “ole” and not “old!”) Chris but something has changed. I look around my life and feel as if I am standing in a place where a haboob just moved through and wiped out everything in its path. People that were in my life are gone or have changed drastically (or is it “I” that have changed?), what I used to do for my business to make money does not seem to be working anymore, my oldest child is choosing a path for her life, that although I know it is her choice, is very hard and painful for a parent to watch, and I have felt more alone lately than I ever have in my life. What used to work no longer works and when I try to make the old work, things seem to just get worse.
So, I made a decision. I remembered recently a conversation I had with a friend who said to me that when your life seems to be falling down around you all that means is that the finger of God has come down to touch your life…not even us humans can make that big of a mess! In order for change to occur and new, beautiful things to enter our lives, “the old” has to go. But we hang on for dear life…hanging onto that pole as the haboob winds toss us around screaming, “NO! I won’t let go!”
Nothing of heavenly importance can be figured out with the human mind. There is no logic to heaven. If your life seems in chaos right now, rejoice! That is a sure sign that God’s hand is in it, sweeping away the old (since you wouldn’t do it yourself because you were holding on so tight) so he can bring in the paradise and dreams you came here to experience.
So what was my decision? To finally let go of the pole I was holding onto so tight and allow the haboob winds to take me in their arms. Yes, there is a risk to just whipping around in the uncontrolled wind, but let me ask you this? Trying to completely control the situation…how is that working for you? I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s not anymore. I choose to let God’s winds take me…take me home…take me to the next chapter in my life…wherever. I choose to let God have my back.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”
~Author Unknown, “Footprints“
Blowing in the wind,
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.