Life is like a racetrack. It’s the curves that make it worthwhile.
~Regina Brett, God Never Blinks
I recently sat down and took an inventory of my life. I figured I’m going to have a birthday in a couple of weeks, why not have a “check point,” kind of like the race car drivers do. I thought about all of the things I have done, all of the people I have met and all of my accomplishments up until now. I can truly say if age 42 was my last year here on Earth, I did a pretty good job of squeezing as much life out of my time here as possible.
There is one area though where I feel I haven’t gotten all A’s; my romantic life. From the very beginning, I have felt as if my radar was broken. It’s not that I haven’t had some nice guys in my past (my ex husband is actually one of the best – he is truly a gem and I divorced him – see what I mean, broken radar!) but the majority of them have caused me a tremendous amount of pain. I believe that what we focus on is what we create. If this is the case, constantly focusing on my “broken radar” is just going to attract me more of the same. So, I decided to give myself a “do-over.” I decided to re-write my story. The only reality I can cling to in regards to any of my past relationships is my perception of them and as you know, our perception is our reality. I chose to change my perception, hence change my reality.
I sat down, pen and paper in hand, and wrote down the name of every man I ever dated from high school until now; one night stands and all. (close your mouth!) I also wrote down any man that has been in my life whom I felt has had an impact on me in some way, my Dad, any uncles, etc. I then wrote down next to each persons name every lesson I felt I had learned from my experience with him. My lessons ranged from realizing I want a man to be loyal to me and ONLY me all the way to understanding once and for all that I am ME and someone either likes me for me unconditionally or they can take a hike! If they are intimidated by my success, hit the road! The interesting part was the men who caused me the most pain were the ones I learned the most from. Those who cause us the most pain are inevitably our greatest teachers.
I now know that there is purpose and meaning behind every event. There is a Divine reason for every choice you make, whether it is to be with someone or to leave. We never know the reason at the time, but I have learned to never surrender until I know why I began the journey in the first place. I look for the lesson in everything. If we don’t, it will come back around at some point, stakes higher each time, until we learn it. Learn to look at life not so literally but more symbolically; from what I like to call the 10,000 foot view. From the nosebleed seats you can often see what you cannot see when your nose is on the ground.
By giving myself a “do-over” and re-writing my stories, I now can think of the men in my life with gratitude rather than with bitterness, pain and anger. I have changed my vibration to match that which I would like to attract. If you hold the vibration of anger, you will attract angry people. If you hold the vibration of victim, you will attract situations that make you the victim, every time.
What area of your life do you want a do-over? Re-write your story. Make it a fairy tale. One you can look back on and know happened for your highest good. Your problems are not problems, they are blessings in disguise. How else do you think God is going to get you to see your greatness?
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
~Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life
Wondering where “my man” is now,
Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and Google+.