“Remember, we all get from the world what we bring to IT through the choices we make about who we are willing to be. Our lives cannot move to higher ground until we do, and we elevate ourselves strategically by being responsible and using our own consciousness as a tool-of-cause and effect. Has it ever occurred to you that when you engage in blaming someone or something that you are missing the opportunity to engage with your own creative powers differently? Differently could mean, for example, an approach that allows you to equate your responsibility, not with blame, but with opportunity. This week when you find yourself moving into blame, through the global headlines, or because of your own internal dialogue see if you can move into a premeditated approach and recognize that everyone has a story worth hearing. And instead of climbing on the blame train, take on the big “R” (responsibility) and begin to create a new story instead of blaming the old one. ”
~Rev. Angela Peregoff’s Blog, May 17, 2012
Several years ago I took part in a 4 day workshop called “The Advanced Course” through Landmark Education. One of the activities we had to do was to think of something that happened to us in our life that affected us in a negative way, write what happened (the story) and then share it with a partner. The rub was that when we shared it with our partner, we had to read our story over and over again for 30 minutes! After telling, and hearing, your story that many times in a row it began to sound ridiculous. What this exercise did for us is it made the story null and void. It made us realize it is just that…a story.
We all have stories. Some are tragic; some are happy. The experiences we have in our life shape our lives. How they shape our lives is up to us. We have an experience, our brain processes it, and then we add meaning to it. It is that meaning we add to it that juices it up. No matter what happens to us, it is always up to us how we interpret the event. The main reason we have such a hard time forgiving is due to the meaning we have added behind the event. “He did that because he mustn’t love me;” “I didn’t get that job because I am a loser;” “No one asks me out on a date because I am fat.” I can go on and on. You know what goes through your mind…I don’t have to tell you.
Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” (anyone who has coached with me has read this book!) made it simple:
1. Don’t make assumptions.
2. Do your best at all times.
3. Be impeccable with your word.
4. Don’t take things personal.
What these four agreements do is take the meaning out of your experiences. They get you out of your head and into your heart. Stop thinking so much! You cannot believe everything you think because 80% of it is a lie…fabricated by your imagination and others who over your lifetime have planted ideas in your head based on their own “lies.”
Just for today, listen to the stories you tell yourself. Write them down if you have to. Identify what meaning you are adding to them and then ask yourself these two questions (if you know the work of Byron Katie these will sound familiar!),
Is this true?
Can I be absolutely certain that this is true?
Our reality is based on our perception. Change your perception and your reality changes. It is really that simple. If you want to live “happily ever after” just make is so…
Your Cinderella in the Making,
Visit www.ChrisSopa.com with any questions about Chris Sopa International, Inc.